Apparently, in addition to not recognizing a popular account on their own site (180k followers at the time), mods didn't think to take five seconds to check which account's posts came first before siding against their own user. Luckily, the thief was also kind enough to email the owner of WeRateDogs to explain what they were doing and why, because it turns out that when your career plan is to steal a social media account about dogs, you might not be the criminal mastermind you dreamed you were. WeRateDogs was eventually restored, and everyone was able to get back to good dogs.
A Parody Account Ridiculing Twitter's Terrible Harassment Policies Was Shut Down For Harassing Twitter
A good way to judge any sort of authority is by looking at how open they are to being parodied. So let's look at how Twitter handled @TrustySupport, which mocked the platform's inability to handle harassment by masquerading as a useless Twitter customer support account.
To give you a sense of their tone, @TrusySupport once tweeted, "We've heard Black Users are often threatened & harassed on @Twitter. So @jack made these emojis [of black hands]. Problem solved! #BlackHistoryMonth #BHM." Critical, but not exactly profanity-riddled tirades.
As you can see from the retweets and likes, it lit the internet on fire.
They first ran afoul of Twitter's parody policy, so they had to explicitly call themselves a parody and remove some trademarked images. Other, nastier accounts were getting away with using trademarks, but whatever, that's reasonable -- Twitter didn't want people mistaking them for a real support account, but they were fine with being lampooned as long as it was obvious. Cool, right?
But then Twitter suspended them again anyway, claiming they felt the word "support" might confuse people. You know, maybe it'd make them think it was an official customer service account for ... Trusty. Because words need their own customer service, so people can check to make sure they're using them properly. They did eventually reverse the suspension, but @TrustySupport is now gone, presumably because they got sick of dealing with Twitter. One could even say they were ... annoyed off the platform.
The weird part is that this wasn't someone at Twitter rubber-stamping a suspension onto one of hundreds of accounts they had to look at. The two sides had a lengthy conversation, and had seemingly come to an agreement before Twitter changed course. Was Twitter trying to lure @TrustySupport into a false sense of security? Do they enjoy the thrill of the suspension hunt? Are they merely super inept when it comes to this sort of thing? It's ... it's probably the last one.
Oh, and all this fuss was over an account that had 826 followers. We get that Twitter is a big company full of people with all sorts of different responsibilities, but maaaybe they have better things they should be doing. Like putting this level of thought and personal response into harassment reports? Or tweaking the look of all the buttons again, whichever.
Adele's People Banned Her For Tweeting Drunk
This story is a little different, but hey, you've earned it. Mega pop star and bad counter Adele used to drunk-tweet, and totally got busted for it by her management, like the celebrity version of your parents catching you picking the lock on their liquor cabinet.
According to the singer of "Hello" and presumably other work that we've long forgotten because "Hello" has been so relentlessly drilled into our heads that the concept of other songs has become a vague abstraction, she used to Tweet while drunk, and nearly said a few things that would've been bad for her image. She no longer drinks, but she still isn't allowed to Tweet directly. If she wants to, say, thank someone for being called a cracker, she has to write the text out for her team to look at and post -- if they approve of it. Since it's unlikely that a group of people dedicated entirely to making Adele look as wonderful as possible would sign off on "Taylor Swift? More like Taylor SLOW. Because she's DUMB," don't expect her to be involved in any internet beef anytime soon.
But if you're truly desperate to see some unfiltered Adele, you can try to track down the secret personal account she claims she has. Presumably it's full of crude insults alongside the odd extended analysis of why Adele's music is so great.
Mark has a book, and hasn't yet been banned from Twitter.
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