Russian Trolls Watched 'House Of Cards' To Learn Politics

Russian trolls, part of the "troll factory" that set about to use the internet to influence the U.S. election, were told to watch House of Cards in order to educate themselves on U.S. politics.

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It's a good choice of TV show to learn about American politics, as opposed to something dull and uninformative such as a book or C-SPAN. Russian trolls learned some critical truths through the fictional President and First Lady. Spoilers: it turns out, it's normal for the First Lady and POTUS to have a threesome with secret service agents. Also, the President routinely spits on Jesus and pees on his father's grave, a sort of symbolic presidential ritual. The President's other responsibilities includes shoving reporters in front of trains (also giving them oral sex), killing dogs, killing U.S representatives, and killing prostitutes.

The show does a great job of representing U.S/Russia relations by showing the subtle ways the Kremlin influences American leaders, such as sexually assaulting the First Lady by forcing a kiss on her, which somehow makes her powerless and makes the President think she's icky.

This information gives such a detailed and penetrating look into U.S. politics, it's a travesty that it doesn't require a high level security clearance to access. Also, now the Russians know that our presidents like to stare out into space and break the fourth wall to imaginary cameras. We're screwed.

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