4

Planes Have Secret Floors Where Flight Attendants And Pilots Sleep (And Fuck, Probably)

We've discussed before the tendency airline employees have for behaving like oversexed party weasels, and while we're sure that those cases are the exception rather than the rule, were we to run an airline, we'd have at least some hesitation before building hidden boudoirs within our aircraft specifically for crew use.

Paul Thompson/Jalopnik

It's all done in the name of alertness, of course, and on long-haul flights, there is a justifiable case for it. And seeing as how snuggling up in those tiny toilets isn't a very attractive option, airlines like Virgin Australia have installed sleeping areas for the crew. There are naturally strict boundaries to discourage unseemly fraternization -- attendants are relegated to a space above the economy cabin, while pilots receive a cozy nook over business class.

Virgin Australia

And OK, we're making a lot of childish insinuations here. These are all professionals. But clearly there have been at least some instances of midair baby gambling. Why else would they feel the need to prominently post a "one per bunk" rule on the wall?

3

All Cruise Ships Have Morgues

We've talked before how the cruise ship experience can be a lot grosser and deadlier than most people expect. But once the bodies start to pile up from all the outbreaks and dessert bar fistfights, what do you do with them? "Dump them overboard" seems like the obvious practical solution, but the ships have prepared for such eventualities with the much less illegal inclusion of onboard morgues.

This is comforting, in a way; you'd certainly hope there's a better plan in place than wrapping your aunt in a tablecloth and tossing her to the barracuda. And there's more! Because cruise lines don't want to cause undue panic amongst their still-living umbrella-drink-guzzlers, they've come up with code words to use when discussing these situations. "Operation Bright Star" might be used for medical emergencies, and "Operation Rising Star" would be used when Neptune has claimed another soul for his briny retinue.

Cruising Authority

Do cruise ships ever run out of room in the fridge for their cadavers? Yes they do! There was one incident aboard a ship on a trip from Fort Lauderdale to Lisbon after so many tourists died that the morgue filled, and they "had to start finding other places to put the bodies." No word on where those other places were, so maybe on your next cruise, keep an eye out for any unusually sluggish-looking dancers during the nightly revue.

2

Dairy Farmers Regularly Look Like Futuristic Time Cops

The popular image of cow milking is pretty basic: a rustic sort of individual armed with a bucket and stool wrestling with ungulate teats. And while it can still look that way when you're talking about an Amish farm or something, big state-of-the-art operations have turned the process of lactose extraction into something that looks a little more like an UFO abduction scenario.

GEA

1

The Super Bowl Sniper's Nest Has The Best View Of The Game

What do the Super Bowl and the Korean DMZ have in common? Both places provide visitors with an abnormally high probability of having the crosshairs of a high-powered sniper rifle centered on their face. Yes, in addition to the hot dog vendors and jersey peddlers, it seems the NFL also includes the job title of "professional sniper" on the payroll.

via Deadspin

Rowdy drunks probably don't have too much to worry about here; no one's getting shot center-mass for spilling their nachos down someone's back. The snipers almost certainly won't be called into action for anything less than a terror attack or another imminent Patriots win. (The drunks actually have something worse to fear: another behind-the-scenes gem called football jail.)

ABC 7

But yes, snipers. Forget your end zone, 50-yard line, or skybox tickets; the best seat in the house goes to a SWAT team member from the local PD. Which is probably the case at a lot more than just the Super Bowl. It's a sad fact of life now that any event with this many people at it probably has some kind of security presence like this looming over it.

via Deadspin

E. Reid Ross is the author of Nature Is The Worst: 500 Reasons You'll Never Want To Go Outside Again, which is in stores now and available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

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