6 Fan Theories (That Improve Movies)
It's sad to say, but not every hilariously creative fan theory out there is a winner. We're reasonably sure John McClane can't be a Time Lord and a Jedi, and all of human history probably isn't a dream of the dog from Frasier. But as we've explored before, some of these theories improve their movies -- like the cherry on top of the sundae, only you got this cherry from a random stranger you met on the internet. What could possibly go wrong?
Star Wars -- C-3PO Is An Unwitting Imperial Spy
C-3PO has always been the most puzzling character in Star Wars. A "protocol" droid who's programmed to be as annoying as all hell? Can you imagine if Google Translate sassed you every time you needed help? Well, one theory posits that C-3PO is in fact one of the most important characters in the series. Why? Because he's a goddamn Imperial spy.
This may sound ridiculous, but it helps clear up some of the inconsistencies in the franchise. For instance, in the recent Rogue One, Princess Leia's ship goes into hyperspace to escape from Darth Vader:
And you felt badass for storming off on your dad when he didn't let you listen to Insane Clown Posse.
And yet, as seen in the original Star Wars, Vader's ship immediately finds Leia approaching Tatooine, which we learn is the galactic equivalent of an abandoned outlet mall. How the hell? In every other movie, when someone goes to light speed, they can't be followed. It's as if someone on board transmitted the info on their location. Now factor in that one of the droids on the ship was built by the guy who's chasing them ...
"Yay, almost done! Now to put a GPS in him in case I ever turn into a child-murdering dickwad."
Of course, we're not suggesting Threepio is doing this intentionally -- that would be altering his character from merely a golden D-bag to a full-blown villain. But what if Vader figured out that his childhood robo-pal was hanging out with the Rebels, and found a way to monitor his activities remotely? That would explain how they tracked Leia's ship. Also, how did the Emperor knew the Rebels exact plan in Return Of The Jedi?
The official novelization's explanation is "He read the official novelization."
Easy: Threepio, the droid equivalent of Nixon's tape recorder, was at their strategy meeting.
This whole franchise has been building up to a confrontation between C-3PO and secret rebel agent R2-D2.
That might also explain why Vader wouldn't let Boba Fett shoot at Chewbacca on Cloud City: Chewie was wearing a disassembled Threepio on his back. Vader didn't want to risk destroying his secret weapon.
Thus vindicating Lucas' decision to re-dub this as "No! Don't shoot my golden robot son!" for the Special Edition.
The best part of this theory is it turns one of the dumber aspects of the prequels into something dark and disturbing -- like if it turned out that "Yippee!" was some kind of obscene Tatooine curse word. Of course, we may be grasping at death sticks here.
Stranger Things -- Eleven Is The Monster
Confirming every '80s kid's fervent belief that the best way to fight pure evil is with a handful of bicycle-riding children, Stranger Things captured the imaginations of TV fans everywhere (and presumably the attention of Stephen King's attorney). The story follows a group of boys befriending a psychokinetic, waffle-loving girl called Eleven as they're stalked by an extra-dimensional monster ... but what if those two characters were one and the same?
So this scene is like high-fiving a mirror.
Obviously, adorable little Eleven didn't control the monster, but the show has hinted that the two were linked. Eleven is the first person to encounter the monster, after she finds herself transported to a dark dimension during an Altered States-on-steroids experiment. But what if that place was her subconscious, and the monster a manifestation of her psyche? You'd feel pretty monstrous too if some dicks experimented on your brain all your life.
Later on, the show's nerdy protagonists name the monster after the Demogorgon from Dungeons & Dragons ... which you'll note has two heads, and even two personalities.
And usually a thick coating of Cheeto dust.
Also, in the very first episode, the kids reference X-Men 134, which comic fans all know features the first appearance of Jean Grey as Dark Phoenix. You know, "The Dark Pheonix Saga," that story in which a good, psychokinetic female character turns evil against her will and goes on a crazy kill-spree?
If that kid held onto that comic, he's now a $75-aire.
In fact, as Vox points out, the show is full of references to the "Dark Phoenix" story, like when Eleven throws the villain into a wall, or when she turns it (and herself) into ashes:
Key difference: Stranger Things characters don't talk in five-minute soliloquies.
If that isn't enough for you, in one scene, she flat out states she's the monster. Which the kids quickly dismiss, because kids are dumb.
"I'm literally the monster, you idiot."
"Aren't we all literally the monster, in a way?"
What if she's been trying to confess that the monster is a manifestation of her powers she can't control? If this is the direction season two is headed, Eggo might want to think twice about doing any product placements in which they're the preferred frozen waffle of Lovecraftian murder-beasts everywhere.
And speaking of those filthy muties ...
Logan -- All The Other X-Men Movies Were Really Comic Books
Logan finally gave X-Men fans the elderly and disheveled versions of the beloved characters they'd been craving. After battling sentinels and samurai, apparently the only challenge left for Wolverine to conquer was awkwardly chaperoning drunken bachelorette parties.
It's too bad his car can't heal the puke stains by itself.
There's a lot of strange details in Logan (evil clones, killer corn, iPhones that explain the plot), but maybe the most "interesting" decision was to have X-Men comic books exist in the world of the movie. And Logan thinks they're trash.
"Ugh, these fucking things? Let's burn them all and watch the movies, which are owned by a much sexier company."
Logan continually stresses that the comics aren't an accurate depiction of how shit went down in real life. They don't follow the same narrative as this movie, but there's the thing -- neither do the previous movies. Anyone who has tried to make sense of the X-Men movie universe knows it's full of plot holes, duplicate characters, and not nearly enough Kelsey Grammer. The continuity is about as coherent as a YouTube comments section.
So what if we've been getting the comic book versions of the events in every X-Men movie up until this point? Meaning that Logan is the first movie taking place in the "real" world. This would explain the wide gulf between the violence of the previous films and this one. In X2, we see Logan take out an entire SWAT without drawing even a drop of blood ...
He was just trying to make the horrifying clean-up a little easier.
... whereas in Logan, he's hacking off limbs and stabbing people in the goddamn skull, because why the hell wouldn't he?
Frankly, not doing this all the time is a gross misuse of having knuckle claws.
All the other movies are the (relatively) kid-friendly comic book versions of Wolverine and the gang's true adventures. So those disappointed by X-Men Apocalypse can take comfort in the idea that a filthy, hobo-like Logan was probably rolling his eyes too.
Harry Potter -- Hey, Maybe Snape's Not Dead After All, You Guys
It's not surprising that a lot of fans would try to invent ways for their favorite dead characters to still be alive. Hell, there's probably a whole subgenre of fanfic devoted to the magical farm where all of Joss Whedon's victims retired to. While some of the explanations are sadder than the deaths themselves, one Harry Potter fan's theory makes some good points. The theory? That beloved hero / annoying shit-heel Professor Snape faked his own death.
For one thing, Snape gets taken out by Voldemort's pet snake -- but Snape is a potions master. If you were going undercover to work against a guy with a serpentine sidekick, wouldn't you keep some antivenin handy?
As for how he survived the fall from Nakatomi Plaza, maybe he was carrying a broom?
Now, granted, the snake bit the fuck out of his neck, so maybe Snape just bled out. Perhaps he's a ghost now, kicking around in the afterlife. But if so ... why wasn't said ghost present when Harry uses the Resurrection Stone to get a postmortem pep talk from all of the important dead people in his life? His parents made the cut, of course, but so do Sirius and freaking Remus. Come on, considering the tearjerker of a scene they shared, wouldn't Snape be there?
Unless Harry's mom has a restraining order against him, which is understandable.
Interestingly, the book also never mentions Snape's body along with the others who died in the final battle. The narration seems to go out of its way to mention everyone except him. And when you think about it, Snape would totally have to fake his own death. After all, no one except Dumbledore and Harry knew he wasn't a legit member of Wizard Hitler's army. So if he survived this battle, he probably would have spent the rest of his life stewing in warlock jail. It's likely wishful thinking, but we prefer to think that Snape is somewhere drinking Mai Tais on a beach, making life a living hell for the staff of Sandals.
Mulholland Drive Is Set In The Twin Peaks Universe
There are a lot of common threads between David Lynch's movies, like murder, jazz, and cramming in as many '50s diners as J.J. Abrams does lens flares. However, two of his most famous works may have more in common than we thought: Mulholland Drive and Twin Peaks could take place in the same universe. This sounds strange until you remember that this is the guy who thought the mutant Eraserhead baby was something the world needed to see.
The theory goes that the story of Mulholland Drive is about evil spirits from the Black Lodge, the evil dimension from Twin Peaks that sounds like an upscale steakhouse. Both stories are about young women losing their lives after seemingly demon-like figures show up (the Whitesnake-roadie-like Bob in Twin Peaks, and an elderly couple and a poop-encrusted hobo in Mulholland Drive).
Possibly the same person after someone gave him a cigar that was actually a stick of dynamite.
The young women are also each given totems which seemingly bind them to the evil spirits -- a blue key in MD, and that Owl Cave ring from the Twin Peaks movie. If you don't know what we're talking about, it's ... well, there's not really any way to try and explain this without the aid of a snappy jazz track and a backwards-talking dwarf.
It's not your regular Owl Cave ring that you give people, that's for sure.
If that's not enough to convince you that the Black Lodge has a franchise in LA, the nightclub in Mulholland Drive is decorated with red curtains -- just like the red room that's connected to the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks.
The backwards dwarf had a growth spurt.
And if that's not enough for you, guess who's hanging out in the audience of the club: Laura Palmer and Ronette Pulaski, two of Bob's most notable victims.
Meaning that this club is also somehow connected to the Black Lodge, where the souls of the demons' victims have to endure the abject horror and existential agony of watching some open mic night for all eternity.
Split -- Kevin's Father Was Killed By A Character In Another Famous Movie
Beware: This entry not only spoils the twist ending of Split, but possibly, the plot of M. Night Shyamalan's next film. No kidding.
The Sixth Sense revealed that Bruce Willis' character was a ghost, The Village turned out to be secretly set in the present, and The Happening ended with the twist that The Village wasn't so shitty by comparison. Shyamalan's latest movie, Split, similarly ends on a WTF note: It turns out that the whole thing was a pseudo-sequel to Unbreakable. Not a lot of directors can get away with that -- it's hard to imagine anyone would have been cool with E.T. showing up at the end of Schindler's List, for example.
Unless he was played by Bruce Willis too.
While Shyamalan has revealed that Split was basically made up of deleted scenes from his original Unbreakable script, the two movies may share an even bigger connection than "Bruce Willis enjoys beverages in both." Split finds James McAvoy playing Kevin, a guy with multiple personalities, one of which is a superpowered entity known as the Beast (a rampaging jerk, not a French guy with a talking candelabra).
Kevin's therapist mentions that the Beast's originates from a childhood trauma when Kevin's dad "left on a train." Kevin first transforms into the Beast after he goes to a train station and lays flowers next to the tracks. The conclusion is obvious: Kevin's dad left his mom and married a train.
And Kevin grabbed the bouquet during the wedding. It all fits.
Actually, all of this seems to imply that the dad died on a train. This doesn't mean much the first time you see it ... but knowing the twist ending, this is huge. Why? Because Unbreakable begins with Bruce Willis' character, David Dunn, surviving a terrible train crash, which leads him to discover he's essentially Superman without the flying.
Or the eye lasers. Or the hair.
What if Kevin's dad was on that train? At the end of Unbreakable, we find out that Samuel L. Jackson's character, Mr. Glass, intentionally caused that crash while trying to find someone with superpowers in the most murderous, inefficient way possible. So if Kevin's dad died in the same crash, that would mean the same accident activated both Kevin and Dunn's superpowers. This would set the stage for the inevitable sequel, and eventually the creation of the Shyamalavengers. We can't wait to see Willis, McAvoy, and Haley Joel Osment team up against a bunch of evil plants.
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