6 Insane Fan Theories That Actually Make Great Movies Better

By Derek James Jan 11, 2010 2,079,348 views
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Cinephiles love reading way too much into a films, and 99 percent of the stuff they come up with is bullshit ("what if Haley Joel Osment was also a ghost?") but other times, they turn out to be right (yes, Harrison Ford really was a replicant in Blade Runner).

Well here are some oddball, yet strangely plausible, alternate fan theories that in many cases actually improve the movie quite a bit.

#6.
"James Bond" Is Not a Man, But a Code Name

When the 007 franchise launched in 1962, Sean Connery was 32 when he received his license to kill. That was almost 50-years ago, and James Bond has aged like a fine Beaujolais spiked with antifreeze. How is the same 30-something special agent who fought the Cold War-era Russians now taking on post-9/11 terrorism?

The Theory:

There has been a theory among fans that there is no one single James Bond, but that "James Bond" is a codename passed on from one agent to the next as each retires (just as the titles of M and Q pinball from agent to agent). The theory explains the agelessness of Bond--note that Daniel Craig's Bond became 11 years younger whereas Judi Dench's M aged by four years.

This also explains how James Bond's personality changes dramatically from actor to actor. For example, in one film you have Timothy Dalton's Bond burning a man alive (around the 9:00 mark). Pop in another DVD and you see Roger Moore's Bond is doddering around in a clown costume.

The more you look into it, the more it makes sense. George Lazenby's Bond had his wife murdered in the last film he appeared in, so fans could assume that his 007 retired out of grief. Timothy Dalton's Bond went rogue and was kicked out of MI6. Pierce Brosnan's final outing ended with Bond being abandoned by British intelligence. Next movie, there's a new Bond in the tuxedo and the old one is presumably on a beach somewhere collecting a government pension.

Hell, even the guy who directed Die Another Day believed this theory. Wait, that was the Bond movie with the invisible car, right? Fuck that guy.

Why Does it Make the Film Better?

We like the realism that this theory gives the Bond franchise, particularly since 007 movies have the propensity to fly off the rails every few years (see: Moonraker, Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist, that invisible fucking car).

On the downside, it throws a real monkey wrench in Cracked's patent pending "James Bond Immortality Diet," in which we advise you to hydrate solely with Gordon's and Lillet and to bed at least three secretaries daily.


"C'mon toots. I'm only doing you for my blood pressure."

#5.
Zion Is Part Of The Matrix

Do you remember The Matrix: Revolutions? No? It was, like, the final film in the trilogy? Still no? Hey, we haven't watched it since 2003 either. Wait, you don't even remember it coming out? Dear reader, we think you might have a case of PTSD: Post-Trilogy Stress Disorder. Don't worry; you're not alone in your suffering--it affects Star Wars fans too.

Would it reaffirm your faith in the Wachowski brothers, dear Matrix fan, if we told you the mindfuck from the first movie was just one mindfuck inside one huge matryoshka doll of mindfucks?


Like this.

The Theory:

In Revolutions, Neo's powers from the Matrix have seemingly transferred into the material world. For instance, he can "see" (despite having charbroiled his eyeballs) and also manifests the power to blow up machines with his mind. This has been a pet peeve with fans who note that this makes absolutely zero sense in the context of the Matrix universe.

But one theory posits that Neo's sudden, convenient-to-the-plot superpowers were possible since he never left the Matrix at all.

These fans figure "Zion" and the whole world Morpheus and the other "free" humans lived in was a separate Matrix unto itself, a second layer of the computer program to let some people think they had escaped. Thus it makes perfect sense that Neo would have magical powers in what he thought was the "physical" world.

Why does it make the film better?

The theory keeps the sci-fi film sci-fi and not heavy-handed messianic fantasy. Neo's new powers are never explained in Revolutions (hand-waved away by The Oracle in one sentence) and therefore seem like a cheap cop-out tacked on simply to end the damn movie. This explanation also prevents the now-tarnished Wachowskis from looking like a bunch of lazy jack-offs who are still cruising on the first Matrix film.


"From the team who brought you Speed Racer and Ninja Assassin!"

The theory gives a somewhat credible explanation instead of a deus ex machina plot device. Interestingly enough, deus ex machina literally means "god from the machine." Double whoa, brah.

#4.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off Was All in Cameron's Head

This beloved 1986 John Hughes teen comedy tells the story of three good friends playing hooky; the affable and impossibly popular Ferris Bueller, the chronically depressed Cameron and Ferris's girlfriend, the stone-cold Sloane. Together, they embark upon the most exciting non-sex-and-booze-and-pot filled day a bunch of attractive American teens could ever wish for.

The Theory:

Cameron creates Ferris in his mind. Ferris is the total opposite of Cameron: he's fun, spontaneous and has a loving family and foxy girlfriend. At the beginning of the film, the imaginary Ferris convinces a bed-ridden Cameron to "borrow" his dad's Ferrari 250 GT California and cruise all over Chicago. Given Cameron's crushing social incompetence, it's likely that Sloane is fictional too and represents a girl that he has a crush on.

This theory explains the more fantastic elements of the film. For example, the whole city of Chicago rallies around the "sick" Ferris. This represents Cameron's miserable home life and how he yearns for friends and family who give a shit. Or, perhaps Bueller is a guy Cameron knows but isn't friends with, and his fantasy is based on what he imagines life to be like for the "popular" kids at school--everything is easy and the world revolves around them.

Or maybe it's a secret metaphor for how Cameron wants to grow up to be Inspector Gadget.


"Gotta get home before my parents do!"

When Cameron accidentally trashes his father's Ferrari at the film's climax, he realizes that he needs to stick up to his father and take responsibility for his own life. At this point he "disposes" of Ferris and Sloane. Both of his fictional friends receive happy endings: Sloane is left pondering marrying Ferris, whereas Ferris safely returns home, where he can break the fourth wall for eternity.

Why does it make the film better?

It transforms Ferris Bueller into a Brat Pack version of Fight Club. Remember when Ferris keeps pestering Cameron to pick him up? Let's watch that scene again...

Holy shit. That kid is fucked up. He needs a friend. A friend who is everything he is not, a friend who can liberate him from all of his self-imposed limitations. Somewhere, there's probably a rejected script for a sequel where "Bueller" convinces Cameron to climb up a clock tower with a rifle.

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446 Comments

holy s**t, the theorie about Ferries Bueller actually makes sense. I realy like it!

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 7/30/2010 3:27 AM
ironduck

I'm pretty sure that the narrator in Fight Club never had a split-personality, he was just imagining that he was also Tyler.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 7/21/2010 2:38 AM
Solo1234

You dont really need the bond one, if you watch the original Casino Royale it explains the whole 007 thing.

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/30/2010 6:54 PM
IanKessack

Yeah...but...that was also a reboot. Some people don't even consider it part of the canon so much as a reimagining of the entire series for modern audiences.

Posted on 7/14/2010 3:48 PM
SeanDimitri

SeanDimitri. He said "Original" Casino Royale

Posted on 7/27/2010 6:34 PM
BenBright

The Star Wars prequels were all in James Bond's mind.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/21/2010 9:44 PM
Abcxyq

I love all these "It was all in his mind" theories. I think that's because I have a huge fascination with psychology and the power of the mind. I think I'll make theories like that for many more movies but I'll keep them off the internet.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/18/2010 10:36 PM
Denmark

The Bond theories are like trying to figure out why Kenny dies in every other episode of Southpark. I'll simplify it. Snappy one liner + bang hot chick + kill bad guy = James Bond. the details don't really matter that much.

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/18/2010 9:59 PM
Keras

Actually, the details do matter because the Bond franchise itself is pretty f**kin detailed without the movies.

Posted on 7/14/2010 3:49 PM
SeanDimitri

The Bond theory becomes more believeable with certain errors made in the movies. One I just read about is with Tomorrow Never Dies. Brosnan-Bond can't use the Chinese keyboard while Connery-Bond had a first class degree from oriental languages from Cambridge (As mentioned in You Only Live Twice)

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/18/2010 5:14 PM
ghost1807

Just pointing out that in On Her Majesty's Secret Service James Bond loses his wife, this is then referred to in Licence to Kill when Felix says that Bond was "married once, but that was a long time ago". Sure, it could be another person who has lost another wife but still... thought it was worth mentioning. It is fairly obvious that is what the film makers are referring to.

Posted on 6/23/2010 11:13 AM
sdevine

One theory I read about his marriage has every "new" 007 operative assume the identity of Bond, history and all; they bend the history to fit their personal uses.

Posted on 7/14/2010 3:50 PM
SeanDimitri

umm.. I thought it was made pretty clear, that C3P0 was "mostly" memory-wiped, and that R2D2 was allowed to keep his memories, but was told to keep everything secret unless it had to be known. Someone could talk C3P0 into spilling everything he knew by giving him a guilt trip, but R2 wouldn't say shiat to anyone.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/18/2010 7:26 AM
PanaSonic

Actually, the game FF8 has the #2 theory, called "squall is dead" People assume that since, at the end of the first disc of the game, the main character has a six-foot-long icle jammed in his lungs that the entire rest of the game is his dizzy, dying fantasy (evidenced by the fact that things start going a hell of a lot better for the main character).

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/17/2010 6:41 PM
GableChase

According to Star Wars Canon, R2 was one droid that NEVER had a memory wipe.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/15/2010 12:18 AM
Vader999

Dude. I was always under the impression that the little brother dies in Radio Flyer. The final line of narration basically hands that to us as a truth of the film. ...I didn't even realize there was a debate about it among filmgoers.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/14/2010 3:44 PM
toryoom

Wait, I actually thought that's how the Bond movies were! O_O That's just what I assumed growing up as a kid and never thought about it when watching the new ones. I just always thought Bond was a code named. My head hurts...

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/14/2010 9:12 AM
Zizzac

the ferris buller theory is f**king with my mind

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/14/2010 8:55 AM
carneyUGVC

Yeah, I shat a brick when I read that.

Posted on 6/21/2010 1:42 AM
MrMystery

The conclusion on Indiana Jones is incorrect because he was hallucinating before he went into the fridge. The obvious conclusion is that he's hallucinating not because of radiation poisoning, but because he has gone completely mad over the years (A condition which led him to hide in a fridge in a nuclear testing range)

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/14/2010 1:33 AM
YoniGeralnik

These were great. On Star Wars, though, I'm pretty sure the correct answer was barely-thought-out, cheap, cameos in order to sell more junk and convince people who were adherents of the original trilogy that maybe it was worth a watch since there'd at least be some old friends there.

3 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 6/10/2010 11:15 PM
rmiller

Chewie actually got captured by the imperials and sold as a slave,then rescued by Han Solo while he was working as an imperial officer,and Chewie swore a life-debt.Consider that when thinking about these theories.

Posted on 6/13/2010 12:05 PM
Necroskull

Which means Chewie being an agent is a load of garbage. Arranging to be enslaved then saved by a passing Imperial agent is hard to buy into. But then again, it's convoluted enough of a coincidence for Lucas to do it.

Posted on 6/14/2010 3:46 AM
LaughingTarget

The entire second half of Observe and Report for me felt wrong. I assumed everything after him being denied entry to the police academy was a delusion. I definitely thought the walls would come tumbling down when he shot the flasher, but nothing.
I assume it's a retooled ending because people don't expect a Seth Rogen movie to be at all dark. It wouldn't be the first time an ending was fixed to appeal to audiences better after failed test screenings.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/29/2010 2:24 AM
Kermi

I've got another insane fan theory that actually makes a classic movie MUCH better.

Titanic (1997)

There are several theories about this movie. The first theory is that the 100-year-old Rose is actually telling a story that NEVER HAPPENED AT ALL. Rose may actually be senile and going through dementia. Even if she was on the Titanic, she is telling the story entirely from her point-of-view, which may not be entirely accurate. Perhaps she is not telling what actually happens, but only what she THINKS happened, or what she wished had actually happened. The audience never knows if Old Rose is a reliable narrator, and so, the audience is left to make their own decisions.

The second theory involves Rose's granddaughter, Lizzy. Let's say that everything Old Rose said was true. Has anyone noticed that Lizzy is blond with blue eyes? Guess who else was blond with blue eyes. The theory states that Lizzy is actually Jack's granddaughter. This theory makes the movie much better for several reasons. The theory gives meaning to the famous car scene with Jack and Rose. Lizzy's father or mother was conceived during this scene. Also, several deleted scenes indicate an attraction between Lizzy and Brock (Bill Paxton's character). Because of Jack, Brock has found a possible companion, and in the exact same spot where Jack and Rose began their affair.

These theories make a great movie so much greater. I liked Titanic when I first watched it, but after hearing these theories, I cannot get enough of this movie.

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/27/2010 10:57 AM
Voz

Too convaluted for James Cameron. His movies are made with the sole purpose of creating enough hype so that people ignore it's crap and spend their money on it. Titanic is SEVERELY overrated.

Posted on 6/21/2010 1:46 AM
MrMystery

That Jar Jar Binx lollipop is horrifying.

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/11/2010 7:46 PM
NapalmPapatino

So thats a lolipop

Im not going to sleep well

Posted on 6/13/2010 9:44 AM
wings

GODDAMMIT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Posted on 6/22/2010 1:51 AM
mrfreckles

I was always under the impression that 'James Bond' was a codename

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 5/7/2010 1:49 PM
viewofanobody

Bond in Casino Royale said the life expectancy for 00s wasn't very high. If that is true, the Bond's after Connery must have given MI6's HR department headaches.

"f**k...they found another a*****e to fill the 007 position?"

Posted on 7/14/2010 3:55 PM
SeanDimitri

the problem with thinking that observe and report is all in his mind is that after his rampage in the mall he starts taking his pills again.

you see him stop taking his meds, go crazy, get fired. he doesn't "save the day" he f**ks up severely, only turning it around at the last second. also he loses the girl he wanted and settles for the one he didn't really care about for half the movie.

1 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 4/16/2010 6:12 PM
3redlights

He never really had Brandi though, he f**ked her while she was drunk and the only reason that wasn't a rape scene is because she - while in some sort of drugged out coma - asks him "why are you stopping motherf**ker?"
He forgot about Brandi after he saw her f**king another guy and realised the coffee girl was the only person who was nice to him aside from his sycophant buddies.

Posted on 5/29/2010 2:26 AM
Kermi
Cracked stuff on