5

Early Space Suits Were Hilarious

Let's say you lived in the 1950s and wanted to help the U.S. in the space race against the USSR, but weren't quite smart/cool/aerodynamic enough for the job of astronaut. No problem! You could apply for the job of "space suit tester," and do your part for the country while looking absolutely ridiculous. For example, someone had to try on this monstrosity while the Air Force developed the X-15 rocket powered spaceplane project:

via PBS
Conceived from a failed gimp suit experiment.

Eventually, they would perfect the bendy arms, but the helmet would grow to inconceivable proportions until the wearer looked like a shiny metal Mr. Peanut with a dangerous infectious disease:

via Popular Science
The trowel was in case you wanted to get some space gardening done.

The suits would continue to evolve over time, finally settling into a design that closer matches what we know today. But before we set our sights on the moon, we had our eyes on vacuum tube assembly. And then we quickly realized that the giant bubble suits used to keep vacuum tube assemblers safe while on duty could double quite nicely as moon-walking suits. Or so NASA hoped when they snatched up the design and set to testing it out.

via PBS
This was also the original lineup for the Village People.

4

Early Military Armor Turned Soldiers Into Hellboy Villains

Military personnel have a lot to worry about, like gathering sensitive intel and not dying. They don't have the time or motivation to care about what they look like while they're ridding the world of unfreedom. But maybe they should. That would at least prevent them from ever going back to any of this:

Imperial War Museums, Imperial War Museums, Imperial War Museums
Dude. No. No.

Those snazzy outfits date back to World War I, and must have been top-notch equipment at the time. Check out those protective goggles! But again, this was just one version of this incredibly important gear. Around the same period, soldiers wore actual suits of armor or helmets that would have looked right at home at a Five Nights At Freddy's cosplay event.

Harvard University Library
"I've come for your soul."

3

Cops Apparently Got Their Equipment From Inspector Gadget

Police officers are kind of cool, right? They sure as heck are when you're a little kid, anyway. The only uniforms that had a larger showing at kindergarten career day were firefighters. Badges and patches might change from place to place, but for the most part, police uniforms are, well, rather uniform. The same basic shapes and principles are there across the board, and they've been since the very beginning. The jacket, the hat, the slapping board ... wait, the what?

Popular Mechanics
"It comes with two slap settings: 'Regular' and 'Bitch.'"

Those were straight-up called "slappers," and they were used to replace dangerous nightsticks throughout the Indianapolis police force in the early 1930s. The boards were made of rubber, so as to minimize the danger received by the slapee. They were said to have been invented by the city's chief of police, who honestly should have known better.

Two years later, in 1935, a different bulletless offensive alternative was derived from a glove rigged up to a portable battery. This early taser rendition looks as dangerous for the wearer as it does for those on the receiving end.

bpdthenandnow.com
Photographed moments before he tragically noticed his unzipped fly.

2

Travelling Photographers Looked Like Ghosts

Historical photography has always been drenched in grim darkness. The sad death photo trends, the ghastly ghost moms -- when our ancestors attempted to document their lives, things got creepy fast. But you don't normally see the people behind the lens -- the picture-takers, music makers, and dreamers of dreams. Like wallflowers and moms everywhere, the photographer was rarely ever caught on film themselves. And thank goodness for that, because these guys were a hot mess.

Popular Mechanics
"Say BOO! I mean, cheese!"

philnesmith.wordpress.com
People were already laughing at how dumb they looked, so smiles weren't an issue.

Before digital photography, smartphones, or even the halcyon days of the Polaroid camera, traveling photographers and especially reporters had few options when it came it to delivering engaging photos on the quick. To speed up the process of developing film by hand, photogs took their entire lab on the road, often wearing every last bit of their equipment on their backs as they performed their duties. This was meant to allow the photographer to get a jump on rival picture takers by giving them the ability to process their photos the instant they were taken.

Popular Science
No waiting!

1

1960s Airlines Existed In A Dystopian Logan's Run Future

In the swinging '60s, Emilio Pucci brought a fun, funky, futuristic vibe to the open skies when he seemingly drew inspiration for his flight attendant uniforms from those bastions of progressivism, The Jetsons. But hey, it was the 60's. Everybody took inspiration from those guys, right? How bad could it really be?

Braniff Airlines
Bad.

Braniff Airlines
Really bad.

These bobblehead helmets were intended to keep stewardesses' intricate hairstyles safe from the rain whilst walking from the airport to the plane. But the fishbowls were tossed after a month of use, because they had a tendency to crack and were also completely unnecessary. Unnecessary to any reasonable human being, at least. Which Pucci clearly wasn't, given another of his lines was dubbed the "Air Strip," and required the attendant to remove articles of clothing during the flight.

Braniff Airlines
"No, baby ... Leave the helmet on."

Behind every awful movie is the idea for a good one. Old man Indiana Jones discovers aliens. Good in theory, bad in practice. Batman fights Superman. So simple, but so bad. Are there good translations of these movies hidden within the stinking turds that saw the light of day? Jack O'Brien hosts Soren Bowie, Daniel O'Brien and Katie Willert of 'After Hours' on our next live podcast to find an answer as they discuss their ideal versions of flops, reboots, and remakes. Tickets are $7 and can be purchased here!

Also check out 5 Hilarious Jobs People Had To Do Before Modern Technology and 4 Old-Timey Jobs That Could Solve the Unemployment Crisis.

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