Quick, someone get Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney to do another duet.
Then there were his attempts to screw over poorly funded school districts (and the disabled children who attended them) in Alabama. After half a century of the state depriving children the right to a public education through unbalanced funding, a Circuit Court Judge deemed the practice unconstitutional and demanded a change. Sessions then spent most of his career as Alabama attorney general trying to discredit the judge, maintaining he was defending the State School Board (the School Board quickly declared that Sessions did not actually represent them or their views). Sessions continued the fight until the Alabama Supreme Court upheld the ruling and told Sessions to go away.
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Too regressive for a 1980s Alabama, but not for the 2017 White House.
Finally, Sessions outright fought against giving equal funding to LGBTQ student groups because of their promotion of "illegal, sexually deviate activities defined in the sodomy and sexual misconduct laws," which was actual law in Alabama at the time. He hasn't shown any signs of mellowing out either, vocally opposing same-sex marriage and voting twice against including sexual orientation in hate crime legislation. Then again, it must be pretty hard to vote for something you yourself are probably guilty of.
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"Butts are for pooping! Or in my case, storing my head."
But that was ages ago. Surely, the serial racist, sexist, elitist homophobe has had to change his ways in order to join the Trump Cabinet. After all, Trump said transgender people can use whichever bathroom they want! He must be appointing Jeff Sessions in the same way Quentin Tarantino casts aging character actors -- he knows they deserve another chance.