ISIS Soldier: "Shouldn't we focus on military targets?"
ISIS Commander: "Nonsense! That random T.G.I. Fridays is going down TONIGHT!"
Seeing as how Black Friday isn't currently considered a national day of mourning, all of these "reliable sources" and "credible threats" turned out to be a load of bullshit. Who would have thought that supposed plots by terrorists to dress up as passionate shoppers and beat up true patriotic bargain-searchers could have been fake?
Unless you see warnings from a legitimate publication and not superlegitnews.com, you can shop on Black Friday with the confidence that you're no more likely to experience a terrorist attack than on any other day of the year. So all you have to be concerned about is credit card debt and the Universe striking you down with a heart attack for wrestling a 10-year-old for the last discounted PS4.
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