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The Elderly Founder Of Glock Pistols Fought Off An Assassin With His Bare Hands
Glock's pistols arm 65 percent of American police, U.S. Navy SEALs, and the militaries of dozens of countries. The word "Glock" is basically synonymous with "badass gun," and they've moved millions of units. Which is why it's so ironic that the one guy who didn't have a Glock in his hour of need was Mr. Glock.
Gaston Glock didn't inherit the polymer pistol empire; he built it. And you can't build an empire without making a few enemies. In Glock's case, it was his partner and close confidant Charles Ewert. Back in 1999, Ewert embezzled millions of dollars from the company and, worried about getting caught, took the next logical step in the Iron Man villain's business plan: killing your partner. So naturally, he hired a French ex-mercenary and professional wrestler nicknamed "Spartacus" to assassinate Glock -- because why only go half Goldfinger? Glock was 70 years old at the time and, surprisingly, didn't carry a Glock. (Where's the faith in your product, Gaston?)
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No one does irony like Gaston
Ewert lured Glock into a parking garage in Luxembourg and told his business partner to "check out that cool sports car," because he got his supervillain manual mixed up with a Scooby-Doo script. But hey, it worked: As Glock bent over, Spartacus The Hitman jumped out -- hopefully wearing nothing but a leather thong and a murderous grin -- and started beating Glock on the head with a heavy rubber mallet. Which is an ... interesting choice for a murder weapon?
Cav/Wiki Commons
"The Looney Tunes Killer strikes again!"
No, all violence in Luxembourg doesn't have to meet a mandatory silliness minimum -- the mallet was supposed to make his death look like an accident, like the elderly septuagenarian had fallen and cracked his head open. On ... a ... rubber mallet.
But after being bashed seven times in the head, Glock managed to wrestle the hammer away from the hitman/pro-wrestler, punched him in the eye, knocked out several of his teeth, and rendered him unconscious. Ewert had already run away like a coward at that point, which isn't a judgment call on our part: Ewert himself described the situation by saying "I am a coward."
via Paperjam