2016 wasn't one of our better years. There were all those celebrity deaths, the fact that democracy around the globe decided to take up crack rock, and also that ape that got shot. But despite that, despite an entire year spending every minute trying to make us all pray for the sweet release of the void, there were still some bright spots out there, heroes doing everything they could to ... well, not die, or spread disease, or casually stoke the fires of fascism.
A pretty low bar, then. But we'll take what we can get.
The Insanely High Dude Who Braved An Imaginary Fire To Save A Dog
One night, Michael Orchard of New York state noticed that his neighbor's house was on fire. Taking matters into his own hands, he blasted through his neighbor's fence with his car, kicked in the back door, and rescued the family's dog from the inferno.
There was one problem, though.
When the cops showed up, they found Orchard standing there like an action hero, clutching the dog in front of a house that was most definitely not ablaze. The source of the confusion -- the fact that Orchard had taken acid and a shitload of cough syrup -- was quickly identified, and the rescue mission was quickly reclassified as breaking and entering.
The medal ceremony was quickly canceled.