Look, we get it. Once you find out that your patronus is a three-legged alley cat, it's hard to get motivated to check on the news. Besides, no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
Teachers: America's unsung heroes ... and secret drunks ... and all-around degenerates. To shed light on the dark side of this trusted occupation, Cracked Podcast host Jack O'Brien, along with comedians and the cast of truTV's Those Who Can't Maria Thayer (Abbey Logan) and Andrew Orvedahl (Coach Fairbell), will interview some real life (and probably anonymous) teachers who will share all the filthy, outrageous, and hilarious tales from this supposedly squeaky clean profession. Get FREE tickets to this LIVE podcast here!
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.