We May Have To Deal With NUCLEAR Forest Fires
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Nuclear power is a relatively clean alternative to fossil fuels. It's more efficient, more sustainable, and doesn't release a bunch of harmful chemicals into the air -- only into glowing green barrels with cartoon skulls on them. Really, the only downside is that it causes a small-scale apocalypse whenever things go terribly wrong, like at Chernobyl. Thankfully, that particular incident didn't destroy all of society -- just some Russian parts -- and the still-crumbling reactor serves as a reminder to us all to never forget the horrible destruction of our past.
David Holt / Wiki Commons
It's shaped like a giant dick to remind us of how fucked everything around it is.
It also conveniently serves as an omen of the horrible destruction of our future. Those Russian engineers were multitaskers! This time, the problem is with the trees ...
Timm Suess / Flickr
When Chernobyl went down, it nuked all plant life in the vicinity. And that dead forest remains standing to this day, because the meltdown also killed off all of the microscopic lifeforms that would have otherwise assisted in the decomposition of the dead material. And so these trees have stood, dead but not gone, drying out for 30 years. Primed for a fire.
Too bad that the dead wood has also been absorbing radiation like a giant sponge. One spark, and we have our first nuclear forest fire, potentially smothering huge chunks of Europe in clouds of radioactive smoke.
Stahlman Design / Flickr