In Tomb Raider Chronicles, we find Lara Croft infiltrating an industrial building, because all the good tombs have been inexplicably raided by somebody. Our heroine comes across an unarmed worker in a HAZMAT suit, who immediately surrenders and begs for his life. In case you need a tutorial on basic morality, Lara's partner even comes on the radio and tells her not to shoot him. So naturally, she shoots him.
She then adds insult to
injury death by raiding his tomb later.
Don't worry, it all works out. Since Lara needed that guy alive to open a door, and he is decidedly not alive, she's forced to take an alternate path, where she comes across a bonus item: a golden rose. You knew that because you're a dirty cheater with a GameFAQs account. But Lara didn't -- within the world of these games, this intrepid explorer randomly murdered a guy because she thought it would be funny.
Somewhere in her massive mansion, Lara Croft keeps the golden rose alongside all of her other precious artifacts. Each one has a story. She'll be happy to tell you all of them, except for one. She does not say anything when you ask about the golden rose. She just smiles, as if remembering some special, private moment.
While not properly using the Oxford Comma, Sam Wellborn lives, works, and drinks in Austin, TX. Check out his totally not broken or unattractive blog, or watch him fail to be clever on Twitter.
Last Halloween, the Cracked Podcast creeped you out with tales of ghost ships, mysteriously dead people, and a man from one of the most famous paintings in U.S. history who years later went all Jack Nicholson in The Shining on his family. This October, Jack and the Cracked staff are back with special guest comedians Ryan Singer, Eric Lampaert, and Anna Seregina to share more unsettling and unexplained true tales of death, disappearance, and the great beyond. Get your tickets for this LIVE podcast here!
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