"This little piggy has had enough of your bullshit!"
The condition, known as dactylolysis spontanea or ainhum, begins innocently enough: A ring of tough, fibrous flesh suddenly appears around one or both of your pinkie toes. Then, slowly, the ring tightens, squeezing harder and harder, cutting off circulation to your tiny digits. Eventually, the band breaks through the bone, and your toe is left hanging off the side of your foot by a thin strand of tissue. When this crushing, minuscule hug severs through this last bit of flesh, the toe falls off completely, and you are free to start buying narrower shoes.
The full process, from formation to amputation, can take years or months. No one really knows what exactly causes it or how to cure it. As far as we know, anyone can develop it at any time, and the only "treatment" is to have a surgeon amputate your toe before the universe gets the chance to.
You don't want to give that son of a bitch the satisfaction.
The only consolation is that it's pretty rare, but your chances of coming down with pinkie-fall-off-itis do rise slightly if you live in the tropics or are of African descent. And it isn't fatal -- the worst thing it's likely to cause is uncomfortable conversations at the beach.