Look, we get it. You're way too busy roaming the streets trying to catch Pokemon with your cellphone to catch the news. Besides, no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity. So we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Oscar Pistorius sentenced to six years in prison

Source: TMZ

FTC investigating Ashley Madison over fembots

Source: NBC News

Source: A.V. Club

Inmates break out to save guard

Source: ABC News

No charges filed against Hillary Clinton over email server

Source: Yahoo News

Five police officers killed at a Black Lives Matter protest in Dallas

Source: The New York Times

<- PREVIOUS WEEK

Zoroastrianism used to be one of the biggest religions in the world, but their idea of heaven had a slight twist on it: To get there you'd have to cross a bridge, sometimes rickety, sometimes wide and sturdy. If you fell off, you'd go to the House of Lies for eternity. Fun! Not terrifying at all! This month, Jack, Dan, and Michael, along with comedians Casey Jane Ellison and Ramin Nazer discuss their favorite afterlife scenarios from movies, sci-fi, and lesser-known religions. Get your tickets here, and we'll see you on the other side of the bridge!

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