Look, we get it. There's a reason there's no such thing as C-SPAN and chill. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Tetris movie will be a trilogy

Supreme Court upholds federal gun ban

Source: ABC News

Dance Moms star guilty of fraud

Truckload of cheese stolen in Wisconcin

Source: WTMJ TV

Transgender people may now serve openly in the military

Man arrested for scanning his penis in the checkout line

Hillary Clinton cleared in Benghazi investigation

Man tries to douse the Olympic torch

Source: CNN

Supreme Court rules against Texas abortion clinic restrictions

Antarctica's ozone hole is shrinking

Militants took hostages and killed 20 in Bangladesh

Source: BBC, CNN

Adnan Syed granted a new trial because of Serial podcast

Source: LA Times

Terror attack in Istanbul kills 44

Source: CNN, U.S. Department Of The Treasury

<- PREVIOUS WEEK

Zoroastrianism used to be one of the biggest religions in the world, but their idea of heaven had a slight twist on it: to get there you'd have to cross a bridge. Sometimes rickety, sometimes wide and sturdy, if you fell off you'd go to the House of Lies for eternity. Fun! Not terrifying at all! This month, Jack, Dan, and Michael along with comedians Casey Jane Ellison and Ramin Nazer as they discuss their favorite afterlife scenarios from movies, sci-fi and lesser-known religions. Get your tickets here and we'll see you on the other side of the bridge!

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