Myth: Turkey Makes You Sleepy (As Does Warm Milk)
Thanksgiving is the official holiday of three things: football, genocide, and naps. You're already tuckered out after a long day of making hand turkeys and fighting with your uncle about what the word "socialist" means, and then you load yourself up with a competitive eater's portion of hot, steamy bird meat. Your fragile body is no match for the turkey's almighty tryptophan, a sedative so powerful that they could probably use it in the blow darts they use to tag wild animals. You wind up falling asleep before halftime of the Detroit Lions game.
National Football League
Which, to be fair, is the body's natural defense mechanism when confronted with Detroit Lions football.
But Actually ...
According to nutritionists, food science researchers, and people who aren't your grandparents, turkey and warm milk are not sedatives. It's true that turkey has tryptophan (an amino acid that eventually becomes serotonin and melatonin, neurochemicals which do play a role in getting your brain to fall asleep). However, turkey doesn't contain enough tryptophan to have any noticeable effect on your state of consciousness. In fact, it has exactly as much tryptophan as plenty of other dairy, nut, and meat products do (cheddar cheese has more).
The main reason you pass out on the couch after the last round of pumpkin pie is the fact that you ate (on average) 4,500 calories, like a goddamned marauding Visigoth. You're passing out because your body is working overtime struggling to digest all the meat and bread you crammed into it like spackle in busted drywall.
"Throw ... chunks ... in my mouth ... between ... snores ..."