The news can seem like this is all an elaborate prank being played by a billionaire for his reality show. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

DEADPOOL IS PROJECTED TO SURPASS THE MATRIX RELOADED AS THE HIGHEST- GROSSING R-RATED MOVIE EVER. Analysts believe the film's worldwide success may co

AFTER LOSING THE NEVADA CAUCUSES TO TRUMP, MARCO RUBIO AND TED CRUZ HAVE DEMANDED THAT HE PRODUCE HIS RECENT TAX RETURNS. However, Trump says he will

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

Source: MSN

A 14-YEAR-OLD STUDENT IN TORONTO INJURED SEVEN PEOPLE WHEN SHE BEGAN STABBING CLASSMATES AT HER HIGH SCHOOL. An educational assistant said the girl ha

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

Source: BBC

A US-RUSSIA BROKERED PEACE PLAN HAS BEEN ACCEPTED IN SYRIA. Warring parties have agreed to cease hostilities, allowing urgent aid to reach civilians a

Source: BBC

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

A ST. LOUIS JURY HAS ORDERED Johson Johnson TO PAY $72 MILLION TO THE FAMILY OF JACQUELINE FOX. The jury found the company liable for fraud, negligenc

THREE MEMBERS OF A GRANDPA GANG WERE FOUND GUILTY IN THE LARGEST BURGLARY IN ENGLISH HISTORY The gang broke into the Hatton Garden Safe Deposit buil

Source: Reuters

THIRTEEN BALD EAGLES WERE FOUND DEAD ON A FARM IN MARYLAND The cause of the deaths is still unknown. Experts are speculating that the majestic birds m

Source: NBC News

LAST FALL, NORTH KOREA DISCREETLY PROPOSED FORMAL PEACE TALKS WITH THE UNITED STATES, But then WITHDREW the offer after the U.S. insisted that denucl

Source: CNN

THREE PEOPLE WERE KILLED IN A WORKPLACE SHOOTING IN CENTRAL KANSAS. 14 OTHERS WERE ALSO INJURED ACROSS THREE LOCATIONS. Police Chief Doug Schroeder is

Sources: NBC News, same

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