And the haunting dream husband? Just that -- a dream. Or maybe a ghost trying to warn her that all was not what it seemed. It depends on what kind of movie she's in.
Teddy Roosevelt's Daughter Got Revenge On Her Cheating Husband Through Congress (Both Political And Sexual)
Frances Benjamin Johnston
Alice Roosevelt was a goddamned Roosevelt of a woman. She brewed her own beer during Prohibition, despite her husband, Rep. Nicholas Longworth (R-OH), being the Speaker of the House. When someone hit her limousine and called her chauffeur a "black bastard," Alice rolled down her window and replied: "Shut up, you white son-of-a-bitch." She smoked too much, bet on horse races, went a little heavy on the makeup, sat sultrily atop grand pianos, generally made life hell for her father throughout his presidency, and ultimately pulled off one of the most impressive sexual fiascoes in D.C. history.
In short, if Disney ever animates her story, expect the film to be rated R. And that's the woman Rep. Longworth thought he could cheat on?
James E. Purdy
He really should have been more careful where he stuck his longworth.
As soon as Alice discovered his indiscretions, she walked out the door and into the bed of the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations committee, US Senator William Borah (R-ID). Oh, and as a final insult, Sen. Borah later had sex with the same woman Alice caught her husband cheating on her with: her friend Cissy Patterson, a famous journalist.
Harris & Ewing
She really should have been more careful whom she nabbed with her cissy.
To recap: To get revenge on her cheating husband, Teddy Roosevelt's daughter wove together a love quadrangle comprising herself, her friend, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations committee, and the Speaker of the House. If that happened today, the news would literally explode, Scanners-style. That's like if Chelsea Clinton got married to Paul Ryan, who cheated on her with Megyn Kelly, so Chelsea went out and banged John Kerry, who also railed Megyn Kelly for good measure.
Only today's version sounds way grosser.
Jacopo della Quercia (@Jacopo_della_Q) is the author of License to Quill and The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy, so please make sure to read them. You can also order signed / personally inscribed copies of both books here!
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