"There was no pleasure in it, not for her. For Taena, yes. Her nipples were two black diamonds, her sex slick and steamy... The queen slid a finger into that Myrish swamp, then another, moving them in and out..."
"Taena gave a shudder. She gasped some words in a foreign tongue, then shuddered again and arched her back and screamed. She sounds as if she is being gored, the queen thought. For a moment she let herself imagine that her fingers were a boar's tusks, ripping the Myrish woman apart from groin to throat."
George R.R. Martin writes with less sexual appeal than Ted Cruz opening his robe and asking a swarm of tarantulas if they are moist. As Queen Cersei's fingers went in the vagina, described as a swamp by the narrator, she started fantasizing about tearing the woman apart, swamp first. And as soon as Taena is done, Cersei kicks her out. This is likely a death sentence, knowing what we now know about dragons -- that amount of finger-banging would have every dragon within a hundred miles riled up. Not one step out that door and she would hear the first, angry screams of dragon masturbation approaching ...
HBOAnd a dragon moneyshot is probably closer to "Scorpion's fatality" than you're used to.
So, why leave this encounter out? A few buzzing flies and splorpy sound effects could easily give the impression of this woman's legs coming together to form a terrible bog. Maybe they decided hate-fingering was a tough thing to communicate without voice-over? Maybe Lena Headey didn't want to waste her manicure by spending all day inside of a birth canal? The world may never know ...
Scott Elizabeth Baird can be found on Twitter.
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