Last week we learned that poor kids are wearing their jeans just like Levi Strauss intended.

"Boozetown was to have an electric trolley system to eliminate drunk driving and moving sidewalks to assist the stumblers."

"It's important to take care of your wardrobe because, unfortunately, we've moved past the stage in society where wearing a loincloth in public is considered acceptable."

"Look, we know when we look up at the sky and see a shooting star, it's not actually the Death Star exploding in a galaxy far, far away. But that's the kind of stuff we can suspend our disbelief for."

4 Reasons Flint's Water Crisis Is Worse Than You Think

How the hell can something like this happen in America? Cracked talked to a local news producer who's been covering the Flint water situation since last summer, and she clued us in on this slow-motion nightmare of incompetence and catastrophe.


"The people of Flint have some pretty damn good reasons not to trust their local government...which was horribly inconvenient when the government finally got around to issuing a lead advisory late last September, assuring residents they could treat their tap water with complimentary Brita filters."

4 Things Everyone With Sleep Apnea Should Understand

The sleep apnea machine is the closest science has come to recreating the experience of trying to nap with an alien facehugger porking your throat with a pressurized air dong.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 2/7

"I've woken up convinced a cat was eating my face, that someone was sitting on me and farting right up my nose, that a spider was trying to merge with my head, and a variety of other ridiculous things that ended with me ripping the mask off and throwing it away."

"When you're hurting for the essentials, deodorant is a luxury. So is laundry soap. In a lot of poor households, there are two kinds of soap: a bar that you use for your ass and hair, and a big-ass container of the cheapest dish soap you can find for dishes and laundry."

"Another developer ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans)."

"We everyday, normal people go about our business without ever really considering probability, despite the fact that if we did pay attention to these numbers, we'd have the closest thing we can get to a crystal ball."

5 Banned CIA Torture Techniques Babies Use To Break You

Evidently babies have diplomatic immunity from the U.N.'s Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman, or Degrading Treatment or Punishment.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 2/7

"Babies know exactly what they're doing. Every torture technique they use on you strips away another layer of self-involved narcissism until you're left a better, more selfless, far more loving person."

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.


Forgot Password?