Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn't get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin's Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok -- which is why it's all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like ...
5Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire
Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.
Not even an Idaho one -- more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.
The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout -- think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.
A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.
This wasn't just a pipe dream -- large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a "game-worldwide meta-puzzle," where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won't shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.
The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:
That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game -- as long as they stripped every mention of "Fallout" from it.
Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw
sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood ... So, Pepsi.
Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).
Dickheads? Dickheads never change.
4A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars
Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today's standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good ...
Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.
Someone's about to make a Slippy in their pants.
Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.
The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:
Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the '90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo's two dimensions and the N64's bold new future of one more than that.
A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.
Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.
Rats, in this case, being Nintendo's accountants.