Notice how there's a thorough statistical breakdown of how many white men support each candidate? Now notice how the "women" and "non-white" columns say N/A all the way down? That's because there weren't enough "women" or "non-white" voters in the survey (of over 2,000 people) to count.
Another fun fact: The only age group they had enough data to break down was "55 and older." And you can blame some of this on a s****y poll, but Iowa is around 92 percent white, compared to around 77 percent for the rest of the U.S.
And the nature of a caucus makes the whole process even less representative than it would be. In a presidential primary, voters around the state cast ballots in their normal ballot-casting place. Iowa instead does a caucus, which requires all sorts of arcane crazyballs rules involving delegates and thresholds and Golden Snitches. In any case, only a few hundred thousand Iowans are estimated to vote tomorrow -- meaning the most you can say is that the Iowa caucus strongly reflects the preferences of maybe 10-13 percent of the voting population of one of America's smallest, least-diverse states.
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
It's the political equivalent of assuming everyone on Earth agrees with the 25 shut-ins who follow you on Facebook.
So no matter what happens tomorrow, you might as well kick back and soak it all in, because there's a high probability that this entire election was nothing but viral marketing for the third season premiere of Black Mirror ("The Tan Who Would Be Troll," starring Bruce Vilanch as "Gonad Thump").
Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Sadly, the episode sees him only eat a pig.
Robert Evans wrote a book in which he experiments with weird, ancient drugs. You can pre-order it now. Evan Symon is Cracked's interview-finder guy. You can reach either of them at here if you have an experience of your own to share.
Cancel all your plans on Feb. 3, because we're doing another LIVE podcast at the UCB Sunset Theatre at 7:00 p.m. Join Stanley Wong ("The Big Short"), Liana Maeby ("South On Highland"), Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien, and Alex Schmidt as they discuss the problems with the Academy Awards and what can be done to make everything right again. Get your tickets here!
Be sure to check out 6 Things You Won't Believe Can Brainwash You On Election Day and 5 Insane Strategies That Won Elections (And Changed History).
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Donald Trump Finally Embraces The Hitler Comparisons, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, because we love people who get angry about politics in our comments section.