Notice how there's a thorough statistical breakdown of how many white men support each candidate? Now notice how the "women" and "non-white" columns say N/A all the way down? That's because there weren't enough "women" or "non-white" voters in the survey (of over 2,000 people) to count.
Another fun fact: The only age group they had enough data to break down was "55 and older." And you can blame some of this on a shitty poll, but Iowa is around 92 percent white, compared to around 77 percent for the rest of the U.S.
And the nature of a caucus makes the whole process even less representative than it would be. In a presidential primary, voters around the state cast ballots in their normal ballot-casting place. Iowa instead does a caucus, which requires all sorts of arcane crazyballs rules involving delegates and thresholds and Golden Snitches. In any case, only a few hundred thousand Iowans are estimated to vote tomorrow -- meaning the most you can say is that the Iowa caucus strongly reflects the preferences of maybe 10-13 percent of the voting population of one of America's smallest, least-diverse states.
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It's the political equivalent of assuming everyone on Earth agrees with the 25 shut-ins who follow you on Facebook.
So no matter what happens tomorrow, you might as well kick back and soak it all in, because there's a high probability that this entire election was nothing but viral marketing for the third season premiere of Black Mirror ("The Tan Who Would Be Troll," starring Bruce Vilanch as "Gonad Thump").
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Sadly, the episode sees him only eat a pig.
Robert Evans wrote a book in which he experiments with weird, ancient drugs. You can pre-order it now. Evan Symon is Cracked's interview-finder guy. You can reach either of them at here if you have an experience of your own to share.
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