If only he could have hacked five years into the future and learned that his number one customer was about to dismantle itself.
Grieving Father Uncovers International Banking Scandal
Radio Free Europe / Radio Liberty
If popular culture has taught us anything, it's that grief does one of two things to people: pushes them into an alcohol-fueled depression or triggers a riotous rampage of revenge. This is a story about the latter; namely, how a grieving father fucked up the most corrupt elements of the world's banking system with paperwork.
In 1995, Alisa Flatow was killed by a suicide bomber while visiting Israel as part of a school study group. Her father, Stephen Flatow, successfully sued Iran -- who were shown to have financed the terrorist group responsible -- for damages in the amount of $247.5 million. We probably should have mentioned her dad was a lawyer.
Keith Meyers / New York Times
Liam Neeson wishes he had this guy's particular set of skills.
Shockingly, Iran didn't pay up. But they probably should have, because they had no clue who they were dealing with. Flatow started digging into an Iranian-owned skyscraper on 5th Avenue in New York City. Among the building's tenants were a Juicy Couture shop, billionaire oil traders, and multiple charitable foundations. But here was the thing: The United States wasn't supposed to do business with Iran, even if the technical owners of the building were an Iranian charitable group.
Flatow wrote to the New York district attorney's office asking for the damages for his daughter's death to be paid by the Alavi Foundation, one of the "charities" that owned the skyscraper. According to Flatow, Alavi was nothing more than a business front for the Iranian government. After a collective spit take and a couple of "whhhhhhhaaaaa" noises, the government did some research and realized Flatow was right. The building's tenants were paying rent that was getting funneled straight to Iran.
Americasroof / Wiki Commons
"We didn't know! The only crimes the Juicy Couture brand wants to be involved in are against fashion."
Although Iran was the mastermind behind the whole affair, Lloyds and Credit Suisse were the ones managing the operation stateside. Their most important job, tellingly, was disguising the money flowing from Iran as ordinary, non-evil money. This then triggered confessions from several other banks -- namely, Barclays, HSBC, ING -- and an enormous fine of $8.9 billion levied at French multinational bank BNP Paribas for effectively balancing the devil's checkbook.
Long story short: Do not fuck with grieving fathers who happen to be lawyers.
When Adam isn't stumbling into conspiracies, he writes about them quite often. He also has a Twitter, but who doesn't these days?
Get ready for another LIVE podcast at the UCB Sunset Theatre on Feb. 3 at 7:00 PM. Join Stanley Wong (The Big Short), Liana Maeby (South On Highland), Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien, and Alex Schmidt as they discuss the problems the Academy Awards are having and what can be done to make everything right again. Get your tickets here!
Be sure to check out 21 Amazing Times Nobodies Saved The Hell Out Of The Day and 6 Nobodies Who Stumbled Into World-Changing Discoveries.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Truth Behind Every Internet Conspiracy Theory, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, and join our quest to visit every bank in America in hopes of uncovering the next great conspiracy.