Shockingly, Iran didn't pay up. But they probably should have, because they had no clue who they were dealing with. Flatow started digging into an Iranian-owned skyscraper on 5th Avenue in New York City. Among the building's tenants were a Juicy Couture shop, billionaire oil traders, and multiple charitable foundations. But here was the thing: The United States wasn't supposed to do business with Iran, even if the technical owners of the building were an Iranian charitable group.
Flatow wrote to the New York district attorney's office asking for the damages for his daughter's death to be paid by the Alavi Foundation, one of the "charities" that owned the skyscraper. According to Flatow, Alavi was nothing more than a business front for the Iranian government. After a collective spit take and a couple of "whhhhhhhaaaaa" noises, the government did some research and realized Flatow was right. The building's tenants were paying rent that was getting funneled straight to Iran.
Americasroof / Wiki Commons
"We didn't know! The only crimes the Juicy Couture brand wants to be involved in are against fashion."
Although Iran was the mastermind behind the whole affair, Lloyds and Credit Suisse were the ones managing the operation stateside. Their most important job, tellingly, was disguising the money flowing from Iran as ordinary, non-evil money. This then triggered confessions from several other banks -- namely, Barclays, HSBC, ING -- and an enormous fine of $8.9 billion levied at French multinational bank BNP Paribas for effectively balancing the devil's checkbook.
Long story short: Do not fuck with grieving fathers who happen to be lawyers.
When Adam isn't stumbling into conspiracies, he writes about them quite often. He also has a Twitter, but who doesn't these days?
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