Despite his reckless nature, Lassen distinguished himself with his ability to win battles while taking few casualties. He had a complete lack of regard for danger, and was often noted for his ability to read the terrain and then reach and destroy his objective with lightning speed. This was a man who was at his best when surrounded by chaos. He was brutal, he was violent, and his hatred for Germans was legendary.
And you know what else he hated? Goddamned paperwork.
You see, after a battle, officers are expected to file an operational report -- a rundown of events that the bigwigs can analyze to help improve future operations. And Lassen was having absolutely none of that shit. His reports consisted of a mere five words: "Landed. Killed Germans. Fucked off."
As you can imagine, this aggravated his superiors. However, as we've already mentioned, Lassen didn't give a shit, and when pressed to give more details, he would only respond, "It's done. What else is there to say?"
German National Archives
"You know who else does paperwork? HITLER."
And he continued to get it done until April 1945. After landing in northeast Italy, Lassen (now a member of the Special Boat Service) and his commandos encountered German sentries. Lassen led an attack on a German machine gun nest and took it out using only a pistol and grenades. Then he did it again. When he made ready to dick-slap a third, the Germans signaled their surrender.
Unfortunately, Lassen made a fatal mistake: He trusted Nazis. When he approached, the "surrendering" Germans opened fire. Lassen was mortally wounded in the belly and midsection, effectively ending the initiative, and when his men tried to get him to safety, he demanded to be left behind to avoid slowing them down. We sincerely hope that, in his honor, they refused to file paperwork on the incident.
Which is why, 71 years later, we have chosen to file a final after-action report even he would approve of. Hopefully.
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