Watching the news can leave you with the impression that the world is secretly run by YouTube commenters. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

SUSPECTED GUNMAN ROBERT LEWIS DEAR WILL FACE MURDER CHARGES FOR KILLING THREE PEOPLE OUTSIDE A COLORADO SPRINGS PLANNED PARENTHOOD CLINIC. According t

A SELF-PROCLAIMED ACTIVIST WASCHARCED WITH MAKING FAKE THREATS ACAINST BLACK STUDENTS. Simone McKelvey participated in a rally on racial issues at Kea

Source: cbslocal

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/8)

LAWYERS FOR CLOCK BOY AHMED MOHAMED HAVE DEMANDED S10 MILLION FROM THE CITY OF IRVING, TEXAS, AND $5 MILLION FROM THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OVER HIS TREAT

Dublin, Ireland: 20-year-old Aaron O'Neill will likely be sentenced to 200 HOURS COMMUNITY SERVICE after he admitted to convincing his friend, 21-year

Source: Irish Times

FORMER LEAD SINGER OF THE STONE TEMPLE PILOTS SCOTT WEILAND WAS FOUND DEAD ON HIS TOUR BUS. The vocalist wrote and sang several 9OS rock hits, includi

Source: CNN

A 27-year-old Canadian man named Kai Xu has pleaded guilty to smuggling and faces up to 10 years in prison after he was caught with 51 LIVE TURTLES TA

MARK HAMILL HAS CONFIRMED That his character, LUKE SKYWALKER, will be returning as an integral part of the currently filming STAR WARS EPISODE 8. CRAC

Source: screenrant

ROBERT DURST, the millionaire real estate heir suspected to be involved in the deaths of at least three people, including his wife 34 years ago... IS

ADELE'S 25 BROKE THE SINGLE-WEEK ALBUM SALES RECORD IN JUST FOUR DAYS. The album went on to sell 3.38 million copies in its first week. THE WU-TANG CL

OLYMPIC ATHLETE OSCAR PISTORIUS WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER BY A SOUTH AFRICAN APPEALS COURT. The five-judge panel unanimously overturned the lower cou

Source: BBC

VLADIMIR PUTIN ACCUSED TURKEY OF SHOOTING DOWN A RUSSIAN MILITARY JET TO PROTECT SECRET OIL SUPPLIES FROM ISIS. Turkish President Recep Erdogan said h

Source: CNN.com

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