9

The 5 Most Important Things They Never Taught You in Sex Ed

And certainly nothing helps chronic, skull-splitting headaches like the wail of a colicky baby!

8

5 Real Murderers More Terrifying Than Any Horror Movie

What Grady Stiles, aka "The Lobster Boy," lacks in murderous volume, he makes up for in nightmarish creepiness.

"Grady was so proud of his claws that he bragged 'Everyone I have sex with wants to have sex with my claws!' which we want to point out suggests that not only did Grady have weird lobster sex, but that he had it with more than one person."

7

5 Bizarre Ways Your Siblings Made You Who You Are

Go ahead and call your older siblings on anything you feel like in the comments.

6

6 Reasons It Is Impossible to Quit 'World of Warcraft'

"I once made the statement, 'If you ever see me reopen my World of Warcraft account, it means I probably got fired from my job.' Eight months later, I was giving Blizzard my credit card info for the sixth time..." -- John Cheese

"Every time you start to settle into a boring routine, Blizzard adds something to reboner your gamedick."

5

18 Emojis We'd Actually Use

And this could certainly be paired with the taco to fine effect.

4

22 Shopping Hacks For Outsmarting Stores and Restaurants

If you're smart about your Target planning, every weekday is Black Friday.

3

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

Clairvius Narcisse was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. So, zombies happen - here's how the craze could literally overtake us all.

"You are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later."

2

4 Ways Oprah Screwed The World (Nobody Ever Calls Her On)

Oprah gave Jenny McCarthy a platform for her anti-vaccine campaign because trusting celebrities over scientific evidence is kind of Oprah's thing.

"I don't care what talk show she appears on: you don't take medical advice from Jenny McCarthy. Even more importantly, if you're in charge of these things, definitely don't let her give that advice on the most influential daytime talk show in television history."

1

6 Pleasant Surprises About Political Myths You Had All Wrong

Democrats are big spenders and Republicans cut spending, right? Well, you can twist and turn the numbers all you want, and the one trend you'll never come up with is: "Democrats = debt spenders, Republicans = thrifty cost cutters."

"We want to go to the polls and know that we're on the light side of the Force and are voting against the Sith, who are easily identifiable by their frustratingly ignorant bumper stickers. The real world is never that neat, which is why most of us agree that reality is an asshole."