However, things like that can mark you for life: A study determined that the later your surname shows up in the alphabet, the quicker you'll be to jump on acquisition opportunities as an adult. Why? Because of all that time you spent stuck at the end of the line as a kid, waiting for your turn. There's still a part of you thinking, "Goddammit, if the kid in front of me gets the last chocolate milk again I'm gonna Koosh him right in the eyeball."
This can translate to the professional world too. People listed first in research papers always seem to get more credit, and guess how that order is usually decided? Alphabetically lucky academics are also much more likely to get tenure, fellowships, and awards, and that's accounting for factors like "country of origin, ethnicity, religion, or departmental fixed effects" (we're assuming that last one means "bribes").
Even Benjamins beat out Grants, Jacksons, Lincolns, and Washingtons (in that order).
And that's why only six U.S. presidents in the last century have had surnames in the second half of the alphabet. That, or people just vote for whoever is at the top of the ballot. Either way, you're fucked, little Timmy Zywiec.