The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/13)

Trying to stay on top of the news is like trying to defeat a swarm of killer bees by eating them. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):
Sources: CNN, Washington Post
Related: The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/2)
Source: CNN