The news is like a Walking Dead spinoff where they've replaced the zombies with assholes. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/6)

A MAN WHO MADE AN ONLINE THREAT AGAINST HIS CO-WORKERS AVOIDED CHARGES BY SIMPLY DELETING HIS FACEBOOK POST. Grady Floyd posted a picture on Facebook

Source: MLive.com

In a shocking display of ignorance and insensitivity.oo GEORGE ZIMMERMAN Georoe Zimmerman retweeted Grand Motf Alexander aSeriou Slav 2d @RaspberryPir

Source: Yahoo News

TWO ENTREPRENEURS ARE A YELP-LKE APP FOR RATING PEOPLE. The Peeple app will allow users to write reviews of their personal, professional, and romantic

AIRLINE PASSENGER JAMES GRAY TRIED TO OPEN AN EXIT DOOR AT 3o.o00 FEET. HE CLAIMS HE THOUGHT IT WAS THE BATHROOM. Airport authorities did not believe

STEPHANIE MOORE, a 20-year-old woman from Florida, was jailed on a felony charge of MOLESTING A MARINE TURTLE, after a picture of her RIDING ONE went

Source: NBC News

An unknown man in Houston tried to stop two carjackers from stealing another man's pickup truck... BY SHOOTING AT THEM. Unfortunately, he instead ACCI

Source: KHOU.com

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/6)

PETRA PAZSITKA WAS 24 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE WENT MISSING IN 1984 from a college in Braunschweig, Germany. She was DECLARED DEAD five years later, which

Source: BBC

Much to the delight of GREENPEACE HAS ABANDONED DRILLING IN THE Shell ALASKAN ARCTIC FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, not due to popular opposition again

LET ME BE VERY CLEAR: I WILL NOT NAME THE SHOOTER. At a press conference, Sheriff John Hanlin refused to speak the name of the deceased gunman who k

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