Coolio Promotes A Porn Site, Is Losing His Dreads
Back in '95, Coolio had one of the biggest rap hits of all time with "Gangsta's Paradise," a song about either the unflinching nihilism of gang life or Michelle Pfeiffer and whimsical haircuts. (Hey, it's been 20 years.) We all sort of expected that "Gangsta's Paradise" earned him enough money to be set for life, unless he decided to go all MC Hammer on us. Sadly, it seems like those Kenan & Kel theme song residuals have dried up, because Coolio's now writing promotional songs for the less family-friendly client that is PornHub.
Yes, Coolio found it necessary to align himself with a purveyor of copyright-skirting porno. He announced this titanic team-up in a video he posted to YouTube, wherein a fake TMZ interviews the rapper about his new gig as spokes-MC for grainy Mia Khalifa clips with so many errors and flesh-colored polygons that her vagina looks like a game of Star Fox.
Coolio followed this up with a music video for "Take It To The Hub," a song he wrote -- let's paint this in the starkest terms -- about masturbating to PornHub. This video is fantastically not safe for work, but let's just say it features Coolio simulating an erection with a pool noodle, his misspelled Juggalo tattoo shining in the California sun.
This is literally the cleanest screencap we can show.
TMZ later reported that Coolio had signed an agreement with PornHub to release all his new music through the website, which is rather confusing, since PornHub isn't a record label. The rapper later refuted TMZ in an equal parts poignant and hilarious Rolling Stone interview, declaring that he's lost his love for rapping:
"I'm never doing a new album. I'll probably do nothing but singles. ... But I don't know how much longer I'll be doing it. It's not really fun anymore."