If the world won't acknowledge the groundbreaking new genre of music you invented, there's always money in hot dogs.

"The word 'yoga; might describe an old Hindu teaching, but then so does the word 'avatar,' and nobody's claiming that the James Cameron movie reflects an unbroken line of ancient sacred tradition."

7 Incredibly Biased Arguments Against Gun Control

"So should we ban cars because of drunk driving?" Well, no, brainiac. Not unless we're currently living in Death Race 2015 and vehicles are purposefully designed to disembowel people.


"Cars are for getting from one place to another, and deaths are accidents. Guns are for killing things, and deaths are their sole function. Surely not knowing what a gun is for has to disqualify someone from owning one."

5 Jobs You Think Are For Losers (That Pay Six Figures)

To avoid encountering Gordon Ramsay entirely, skip culinary school, grow a thicket of chest hair and sling wieners from a cart. Oh, and you'll make more than a chef.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/13

"Executive chef salaries max out at around $87,000. Hot dog vendors across our great nation are earning an average of $100,000 a year."

I Work In A Nuclear Power Plant: 5 Insane Realities

Working in a nuclear power plant, you see a lot of fresh paint and don't fear a jet crashing into the place very much. No, it's paper towels or nuts and bolts lying around that get you twitchy.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/13

"An airliner crashing into a nuclear reactor would result only in a big pile of twisted airliner parts scattered around the lawn and a fire that would look spectacular but do nothing to affect the reactor."

5 Artists Who Faced Death With A Song

By 1991, Freddie Mercury, already diagnosed as HIV-positive, was in the final stages of AIDS. Queen knew Innuendo would likely be their last album with Mercury. With the help of only some vodka for his pain, Mercury turned in one of the most memorable vocals of his career in just one take.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/13

"The Show Must Go On is a brave 'fuck you' to death from a dying man who never sounded more alive."

5 Women Cut from Pop Culture History For Being Too Important

Sister Rosetta Tharpe was developing rock music in the 1930s and '40s, while all the other alleged "inventors" of rock were still figuring out how to eat their own boogers.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/13

"The most fascinating thing about Sister Rosetta Tharpe isn't that she invented rock 'n' roll -- it's that nobody can admit it."

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