With a blood alcohol level somewhere around "Oktoberfest," the pilot got into his car and drove out to an airfield in New Jersey. If you think that it was irresponsible of him to be driving in his state, then you're really not going to like this next bit. After stealing a single-engine airplane, the still-shitfaced Fitzpatrick flew the craft back to the city and landed it outside the bar just in time for last orders.
The police didn't exactly buy his story that he "suffered *hic* engine *hic* trouble," but they did note that it was a "100,000 to 1" shot that he didn't hit any of the buildings on his way down. In the end, the cops fined Fitzpatrick only $100 after the plane's owner decided not to press any charges, and that was that ... for about two years. In 1958, bar patron Assface McGee (no relation) straight-up called Fitzpatrick a liar when he brought up the whole "Yeah, I landed a plane outside" thing. Suddenly, it was on like Donkey Kong ... 2.
John Muravcki/The New York Times
"You fecking arsehole."
Once more, Fitzpatrick drove out to New Jersey, stole another plane, and landed it smack-dab in the middle of Manhattan. However, this time, he was sentenced to six months in jail, presumably in solitary confinement out of fear that some prisoner would bet him that he couldn't break out of there. And while we're on the subject of great pilots with drinking problems ...