Sterling Becomes President For A Day
If asked who the youngest man to serve as U.S. president was, your answer would probably be Cracked's resident moose god, Teddy Roosevelt. But that's only because you've never heard of 11-year-old Sterling Watson, who, while battling lymphoma, decided he could also handle being president for a day back in 2006.
First, Sterling and his family were flown from Texas to Washington, where Sterling was fitted for a custom Brooks Brothers suit. He was then driven to the White House -- accompanied by a full presidential motorcade -- to have his official portrait hung, because you can't be president without at least a bit of narcissism.
"Can we get Beyonce in here to move it a little to the left?"
He went on to make appearances and speeches at the offices of U.S. Customs And Border Protection and the Drug Enforcement Administration and at the Pentagon. At the U.S. Department Of Education, he gave a speech about important issues of the day, like recess time and school snacks.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
When leaving the U.S. Postal Service (where he gave a speech written by then-President Bush's speech writer), he was swarmed by 300 volunteers holding signs, waving flags, and begging for pictures. Sterling wrapped up his term with a Black Hawk helicopter trip to Fort Myer military base, where he was greeted with "Hail To The Chief" and a 21-gun salute. In all, the wish spanned 12 government agencies, involved hundreds of volunteers, and is widely considered the one day in recent memory that the U.S. government didn't explosively crap taxpayers' goodwill down the can.
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