The 8 Most Badass Make-A-Wish Foundation Wishes
Since its inception in 1980, the Make-A-Wish Foundation has been responsible for granting the wishes of thousands of children with life threatening illnesses all across the United States. While the vast majority of wishes involve taking vacations, meeting celebrities or going to Disneyland, occasionally kids go off-prompter, and things get awesome. For example ...
#8. Sam Gets the Big-League Treatment
Like so many other young boys who enjoy standing around doing nothing for hours at a time, 11-year-old Sam loved to play baseball. However, in recent years, neuroblastoma, a cancer that affects the nervous system, had tragically left him unable to take the field with his team. Despite his illness, Sam wanted a place to watch and cheer on his friends, leading to his wish for a baseball field to be built in his backyard.
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"Just the field. You can keep Kevin Costner."
And it worked. The community got together and totally Field of Dreams'ed the shit out of little Sam and built a baseball field. Such an enormous task required help and donations from numerous sources. First, grounds crews from the University of Mississippi and Itawamba Community College dedicated hundreds of hours to the project. Next, numerous local groups donated, among other things, sod, fencing, a backstop, an irrigation system and a scoreboard.
Make a Wish Foundation
It's actually nicer than where the Oakland A's play.
Sam chose 18 friends for him to manage, and on the day of the grand opening, a police-escorted limo drove him to the field where a crowd of hundreds cheered him on. Brought in to face Sam's team was a local junior varsity team -- all of whom must have just felt like dicks.
Make a Wish Foundation
"What do you mean, 'No trash talking'?"
Before the game, a local neighbor belted out "The Star Spangled Banner." Soon after, 370 fans cheered Sam and his team on as they took the field while the opening theme from Rocky blared. Sam threw out the first pitch, and the game was on. A local sports announcer called the action as donated snacks and drinks circled the stands.
Sam's club picked up the 11-6 victory in a hard fought battle, and anyone in Sam's neighborhood is now free to use that field whenever they want.
Make a Wish Foundation
It's a good thing he wasn't a NASCAR fan.
#7. Craig Gets More Than He Asked For
Some people are simply born with the spirit of a warrior. They need to win. If Michael Jordan was content with just being a good basketball player -- if he wasn't obsessed with success -- then he'd never be Michael Jordan. Donald Trump doesn't just want money; he wants all the money, and he wants everyone's attention, now and forever, and that's what makes him Donald Trump (and also terrible). It's the warrior spirit that separates Achilles from other soldiers. In 1989, 9-year-old Craig Shergold had such a spirit. He was suffering from a brain tumor, but he didn't just want a few get-well cards. He wanted every last one on the planet. Shergold wanted to win.
The Free Lance-Star
"Bring it, other sick kids."
You might have even heard of Shergold. He was the subject of a massive chain letter campaign, wherein he wished for as many people as possible to send him get-well cards so as to get more cards than anyone else had ever gotten. In a seemingly insignificant detail that will become important later in the story (that's called foreshadowing, ladies and gents) this is the only wish on the list that wasn't granted by the actual Make-A-Wish foundation, which note on their website, we do not participate in these kinds of wishes.
Seeing nothing ominous in that policy, the similar Children's Wish Foundation stepped in like the "cool" parent and made Craig's wish happen. The chain letter became a smash hit, and by the end of 1991, Craig had shattered the Guinness World Record with 35 million get-well cards having been sent to the boy's home in Britain.
In a mini-miracle, a rich businessman took notice of Craig's wish adventure and contacted him about covering the cost of his surgery. Craig received proper surgery soon after the record was reached, and is still alive and healthy today. With the record beaten and cancer gone, Craig officially announced he wished for the cards to stop. Wow, way to go, mankind!
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The boy survived, but dozens of mailmen threw their backs out.
Then shit got nuts. It turns out there's a reason the Make-A-Wish foundation doesn't traffic in chain letters. Millions of them were already out there being circulated, and they didn't disappear with Craig's cancer. The wonderful people who sent get-well cards didn't stop forwarding them to other wonderful people, no matter how much Craig and his family told the public, "We're good over here, you can stop now! Seriously it's getting hard to breath in here." Eventually, Craig's family abandoned their home, unable to tolerate the daily volume of mail. With an address that was no longer current, the post office quickly grew wise and began forwarding any Children's Wish Foundation related mail to the company headquarters in Phoenix. Eventually, the company had to begin storing them in a massive holding-area staffed by 40 volunteers -- just enough to handle the 300,000 messages received each week. Hey, slow down, mankind!
By 1993, over 100 million cards made their way to the warehouse. Some were just standard get-well cards, and at least one was creepily addressed "To the Boy Who Is Sick in the Hospital, in Arizona, or Colorado." Whoa, holy shit, at least learn the kid's name and where he is, mankind!
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"Can't stop to read! MUST SEND MORE LETTERS!"
#6. Gilligan Gets Off the Island
Gilligan's Island was abruptly cancelled after its third season in 1967, leaving Gilligan and crew trapped on the island with no real conclusion to their predicament. The viewer was left to assume that they'd died there after having resorted to cannibalism, or maybe they'd stayed there a few years until the Skipper went crazy and tried to unplug the island in an attempt to release pure evil into the world and undo existence before getting stopped by the Professor and Sideways Ginger.
Although a series of movies were released after the fact -- including one with the goddamn Harlem Globetrotters -- they went mostly unseen, and in most people's minds, Gilligan was stuck on that island forever.
For some reason, people didn't want to watch this.
And some people were happy to accept this, but those people are awful. A group of Make-A-Wish children in 1992 decided to crank their badass levels up to 11, get on a cruise ship and rescue Gilligan. These little champions never leave a man behind, even if he is fictional.
Point Pleasant Register
And responsible for getting a whole boat full of innocent people stranded.
For one day, Gilligan actor Bob Denver donned his classic red shirt and white hat and parked down on a deserted island off the coast of West Virginia. Make-A-Wish officials alerted the sick children aboard the West Virginia Bell -- renamed the S.S. Minnow for that day -- that Gilligan was still out there and needed their help. Soon, the children took off to "save" him.
When they'd reached the island, the children spotted Gilligan, who quickly hopped on board and spent the rest of the day signing autographs and playing games with the children. So there you have it. Next time you find yourself sad that Gilligan never made it off the island, realize that he totally did -- it just took 25 years, and presumably everyone else died.
Or were eaten.
#5. Enzo Says "Too Late"
6-year-old Enzo's wish started innocently enough. He wanted to spend the afternoon with "celebrity" chef Ina Garten, better known as the Barefoot Contessa. The young boy, suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukemia, would often watch Garten's show while sick in his bed. Enzo's wish simply involved meeting with the chef cooking one of the Contessa's many French dishes with her. No big deal, right?
She told the kid no.
Enzo was told to try again later that year due to a book tour conflict. On his next attempt to reach the cooking star, he was given an answer of "definite no" from Contessa's PR team, who are all apparently awful at their jobs. "Barefoot Contessa? More like Piece-of-Shit-You're-a-Bitch Contessa," Enzo probably never said.
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He's much more polite than we are.
Enzo was devastated by the news that his favorite chef had turned him down, and his family quickly turned to the Web to air their displeasure. In a blog post earlier this year, Enzo's mom noted that her son had wanted to meet the chef for the past three years, and had publicly wondered, "Why doesn't she want to meet me?" We're very sorry to everyone else who entered, but we officially have a winner for saddest thing ever.
No doubt thrilled by the easiest news story of all time, nearly every major news group hopped on the story, and soon the Contessa found herself the number one enemy of people who support sick children over millionaire chefs. ABC News noted that the refusal was out of step with the much more charity-friendly image she put out in public.
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And here she is wearing shoes. Do her lies know no end?
In a panic move, Contessa contacted Enzo and personally invited him to join her. He would get to cook with her just like he wanted all along! No big deal, right?
He told the lady no.
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"I've moved on to Rachael Ray."
See, Enzo had spent the weeks since his rejection doing two things: booking a different wish and being sick of the Barefoot Contessa's bullshit. He alerted the chef that her apologies were too little too late, and instead of cooking a simple meal with a terrible person, decided he was going to go out and swim with some motherfucking dolphins. Nice upgrade, Enzo.
Really, really great article. I call for a sequel.
ReplyI love me some Cracked articles, but this is something I'd definitely love to see more of. We need more, "feel good," moments in this day and age when everything else feels like crap.
ReplyAlso, I kept up with the Barefoot Contessa fiasco when it all went down. I say, she has the right to do as she pleases. Charity isn't mandatory, but f**k her regardless. This is a chance most people, even hardened convicts who can relate to having a s****y childhood would jump up to help. Knowing who she is and what her background is, plus her social circle is, I can't say I'm at all shocked. Her ilk are the type that looks down on everyone else, she wouldn't want to be bothered with this. I should know, I emailed her management staff and her agent asking them to reconsider. I was flatly told, "we do not allocate our time to these matters." I emailed Food Network (along with many other people) and received enthusiastic responses. I even received one from Anthony Bourdain's production staff that said he'd love to take him for an episode of one of his shows and buy him a drink. I've worked voluntarily with Make a Wish for over 10 years. In all of that time I've never dealt with anyone as roundly cunty as Ina Garten and her staff.
Slot of cracked articles are meant to destroy your childhood
So another feel good article would be nice
This article is just too beautiful. The only thing that made me cringe was #5's damn chef. But props for Enzo for telling her "Too late", he told her like a champ. The moral for this one is:
ReplySwimming with badass Dolphins > "Piece-of-shit-You're-a-Bitch Contessa"
Nobody insults Peirce Brosnan. Nobody.
ReplySeriously though, killing a bear is pretty f*****g badass
I'm not crying, I'm just cutting an onion while reading the brilliant article.
Replycrap and now I'm late for work because I need to find my keys and can't get these damn tears out of my eyes
Replyow. that lump in my throat wont go away. not even after i ate some shreddies.
Replysame here.
#2 with the invested in me by the gracious blizzard I christen the Azeron God of War...Craft
ReplyWow. The # 1 spot is just one of those rare moments when you just have to sit back and marvel at how good people can actually be.
ReplyThis made me tear up a bit. And I'm a f*****g vegetarian.
ReplyCrap, my information gave the date wrong. Ignore my prior comment.
ReplyWhoever came up with the douche bag labeled "EVIL" is a damn genius. I woke my son up laughing. Well played, sir or madam! This was a fantastic article, funny, poignant and inspiring. Laughing and crying at the same time (where the crying isn't caused by the laughing) is a first for me at cracked.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesThat's not a douche bag, that's an IV bag. A douche bag has a VERY different purpose.
NO, I assure you, that is a douchebag in place of an IV bag. That is f*****g brilliant.
Holy hell that IS an old school douchebag!!!! Hahahahaha
It's not a douche bag, it's a hot water bottle. You use them as a source of heat and to soothe aching muscles. They're less common now that we have electric blankets and microwaveable bean bags for those sorts of things.
Oh my god, this made me cry.
Replythis article makes me sad :( and glad :) at the same time.
ReplyPoor Electron Boy died :(
ReplyI can;t read that quote without tearing up a little bit every time. God bless everyone who was in his life because they are one of the few people who really got to meet a real live superhero in reality.
I had the opportunity to do a Make-A-Wish. I have Cystic Fibrosis (A Genetic Lung Disease) and I was 18 at the time (I'm 21 now) and my original wish was to do a voice over for a character in either Family Guy, or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Well my wish was made during the WGA Strike and I was unable to make the wish a reality. Well around that same time, a friend of mine and I were starting a metal band. So I changed my wish to recording a demo of a few songs I wrote. We went to a recording studio in Southfield, Mi that Eminem and Obie Trice uses (I actually ran into Obie Trice as he was leaving a recording session) and not only did I record 4 of my own songs, Mark Nalin (the producer) taught me some valuable lessons like how to Mix and Master Tracks and Music Theory. A couple of months after I finished my demo, I got a call from Ex Jets Quarterback Boomer Esiason. His son has the same disease I have so Boomer has his own foundation for raising money and awareness of CF. He invited me to NYC for that years BEF Booming Celebration which is a black-tie fundraising event followed by a concert. I was asked by Boomer to play guitar on stage with the band that was doing the concert. The band was O.A.R. I was asked to play one of their songs "Hey Girl" We played the song and the band let me play both guitar solos and I was allowed to improvise them. I did such a great job, Marc (the lead singer) invited me back on stage for their last song "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker" Where I was allowed to improvise the solos to that song as well. That was my first on stage performance ever...in front of 2,500 people. I was on cloud 9.
ReplyI wrote this article. That's really cool. I
You wanted to do a voice-over for ATHF. You sir, are a bad-ass with a wicked sense of humor.
Erik Martin died yesterday on Friday, September 16, 2011, at the age of 14. Though he lived a shorter life than many of us, he lived that life a hell of a lot harder.
ReplyRest in peace, Electron Boy. May you spend eternity conquering the forces of darkness and rescuing fair damsels in distress.
Rest in peace, Electron Boy. We'll miss you.
Reply"Do her lies know no end?!" < cracked up at that shit. Awesome stuff.
ReplyI will always remember the heroics of Electron boy; I teared up a little at Erik's quote. I remember reading something about him awhile ago on a news site but knowing the full story is so much better.
Reply