The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/4)

Staying on top of current events is like trying to keep an accurate count of the wolves who are currently chasing you through the woods. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):
Sources: MSN, Yahoo News, Washington Post
Related: The 9 Most Offensive 9/11 References in Pop Culture
Source: Yahoo News
Related: The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/2)
Source: NBC News