By this point in the summer, you've hopefully had your fill of funnel cake, rickety wooden roller coasters, and sitting on the wet assprints of kids who rode on the log flume but didn't bother to dry off before hitting the Ferris wheel. Oh, and you've hopefully been to an amusement park or two.
And, if you're really adventurous, you can skip the traditional theme parks and visit those places where childhood dreams are traded for reality-questioning befuddlement that will have you shrieking at shadows until your sallow, withered form dissolves into ash 9,000 years later because fear has made you immortal.
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Run Around A Giant Pregnant Woman In Mexico
carolinacaniac
This lovely lady is named Alicia, and she rests in peace in Guadalajara, Mexico. From the outside, it looks like Cher put on a blonde wig and posed for a prostate exam. From the inside, it's like The Magic School Bus on acid. Let's dive in!
Starting off, you can look left and peer into the innards of Alicia/Blonde Cher, who has conveniently placed black lights around her jaw so that you can get a better look at the semen stains that are no doubt in there forever.
Theme Park Review
It's just the jaw, so there isn't much to see here. Let's move furth- what the shit is that above you?
Theme Park Review
Who knew Honeycomb was part of Satan's complete breakfast?
Since when do tonsils look like beehives from a B-list horror movie set? Let's get a move on before someone realizes they forgot their EpiPen.
Conveniently, her heart is located literally directly underneath her tonsils. Either Alicia was born with some major defects or she is representative of the ergonomic slug beasts humanity will inevitably evolve into. Whatever the case, this is probably less of a theme park attraction and more of a place medical students go to learn about abnormal development.
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Or she's losing weight on the Daenerys Targaryen diet.
Moving along, the ribcage is illuminated by more shitty black lights as we make our way into her vitals and JESUS CHRIST SHE'S PREGNANT.
Theme Park Review
Sleeping so peacefully like that, you can hardly tell he's the Antichrist.
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