The news media is the equivalent of thousands of strangers walking up to you saying, "Oh my god, this meat is rotten! Here, smell it!" No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne BEASIS will in FANTASTIC star the Harry Potter 8 spinoff trilogy Fantastic WHERE TO Beasts And Seamander Where To Find The

FOR SOME REASON, fox IS PLANNING A REMAKE OF BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINQ, FEATURING DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON. Let's hope they realize that Jack Burto

Family members and rescuers gathered to mourn those who were lost on the cruise ship that capsized during a storm on the Yangtze River. It is being ca

Source: CNN

AWARD-WINNING EFFECTS EDITOR KATHERINE CHAPPELL WAS KILLED BY A LION DURING A SAFARI IN SOUTH AFRICA. A passenger in the vehicle behind Chappell's sna

GODZILLA HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN RECOGNIZED AS A CITIZEN OF JAPAN. The 61-year-old immigrant will serve as Shinjuku's tourism ambassador. Godzilla was ini

Source: BBC

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/9)

A TEEN DRIVER IN BERLIN MADE A WRONG TURN THAT RESULTED IN HER TOYOTA BEING RUN OVER BY A 62-TON TANK. The i8year-old, who has a learner's permit, say

SARAH PALIN HAS STEPPED FORWARD TO DEFEND JIM BOB AND MICHELLE DUGGAR. The reality TV parents have been sharply criticized for failing to act when the

Source: USA Today

THE CITY OF INKSTER, MICHIGAN, HAS RAISED ITS PROPERTY TAXES TO PAY OFF A $1.38 MILLION POLICE BRUTALITY SETTLEMENT. 38% of Inkster residents live bel

Source: Freep.com

THE FAMILY OF THE MAN KILLED BY A VEHICLE DRIVEN BY SUGE KNIGHT IS SUING PRET'TY MUCH EVERYONE. The parties named in the wrongful death lawsuit includ

YAHOO HAS PAID AT LEAST $10 MILLION FOR EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO LIVE-STREAM AN NFL GAME On October 25, the Bills-Jaguars game will not be shown on TV outs

Source: CNN

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