All of this would have sounded like witchcraft to our great-great-great-grandparents, to whom the concept of tooth decay was almost as foreign as that of television or not giving toddlers whiskey and tobacco for their birthdays. Researchers have theorized that we've simply altered our lifestyle far too fast for evolution to keep up with -- our bodies evolved to maintain the perfect balance of oral bacteria, but the Industrial Revolution hyped those little bastards up on a sugar rush from which they've yet to come down.
Food with flavor was a hell of a drug.
Meanwhile, as we scramble to overcome this development by way of gulping down fluoride and mouthwashes, we may be doing even further damage to the delicate ecosystem that is our filthy cake hole. Mouthwashes simply napalm the shit out of the bacteria in our mouths (both good and bad), which is sort of like curing your nephew's Fun Dip fidgets by way of a flamethrower. So if we really want to battle tooth decay, perhaps we should toss aside the electric toothbrushes and instead dial our diet clocks back to the Middle Ages -- which shouldn't be too difficult, since according to Medieval Times, that just means you don't use a fork.