Yes, now a neutered animal can have solid silicone implants placed in its ball sack to replicate the look and feel of testicles. There are many different sizes to accommodate all pets; from dogs, cats, horses, bulls, monkeys, prairie dogs and even rats. Fake rat balls, you guys!
$109 to $1,800.
The Side Effects
According to a Neuticles ad:
"Dogs neutered with NEUTICLES do not realize they have been neutered [and] do not suffer post neutering trauma." Sounds awesome, yeah? Your pet won't suffer any of that post-ball removal malaise that pet owners dread. What's that? Pet owners haven't noticed any change in their pet's demeanor after being snipped? Well fuck you, pet owners, it's a real condition. The people that invented Neuticles discovered it! And they won the prestigious IG Nobel Peace Prize for their work. Their website says so. Sure, the IG Nobel Peace Prize is to science what the Razzie Awards are to acting chops, but still, they won y'all!
People Actually Do This?
It is estimated in 2009 the U.S. will spend 45.4 billion dollars on their pets. There are over 100 countries in the world that don't make that much money in a year. One of the biggest trends that has been picking up steam in the past few years is pet plastic surgery. As for Neuticles, business is going so well they actually offer pretenda-balls in several different sizes and textures. This means that there are people out there choosing prosthetic pet testicles based on which one they believe will feel better inside their pet's sack.
We know what you're asking: "What if I want to give my kitty cat gigantic tennis ball-sized nuts for my own amusement?" The answer is, it can't hurt to ask!
How fucking big is that dog?!?
Do you have something funny to say about a random topic? You could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow. Go here and find out how to create a Topic Page.
And check out some men that could probably use some of this surgery, in The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. Or find out who the cat woman is, in 7 People Who Never Gave Up (But Absolutely Should Have).
And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 12.08.2009) to see "Doctor" Swaim getting ready to operate on Gladstone.
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