Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to follow the plot of a novel that was written by letting a monkey hump a keyboard. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

Nepal's devastating 7.8 magnitude earthquake lifted parts of Kathmandu by as much as three feet. The entire city has shifted south by 10 feet. Mount E

ESPITVS veri on Disney's ESPN is suing Verizon for breach of contract because Verizon wants to let customers choose smaller, custom cable bundles that

The 14 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed

SINCE PUMPKINS NO LONGER SATE HIS BLOODLUST, BILLY CORGAN WILL BEGIN SMASHING CRANIUMS AS A SENIOR PRODUCER FOR 'TNA WRESTLING. CORGAN WILL DEVELOP C

ALERT: FART APPS WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR THE APPLE WATCH! The Fart Watch app was designed to turn your iPhone and Apple Watch into an elaborate Wh

Source: Cult Of Mac

A NEW DINOSALR HAS BEEN DISCOVERED IN CHILE. Chilesaurus diegosuarezi is named after the boy who Tound the first fossil. Diego was just 7 years old at

A SHEEP DOG IN SCOTLAND CRASHED HIS OWNER'S TRACTOR. FAST FURRIEST Tom Hamilton was checking sheep when his dog, Don, leaned on the tractor controls,

Source: BBC

HILARY DUFF IS DATING ON TINDER. Done Done Hilary, 27 9 miles away Active 46 minutes ago Hilary, 27 Let's get pizza. 3 miles away Active 19 minutes ag

Source: Uproxx

TO MARK THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING FOR X-MEN: APOCALYPSE, BRIAN SINGER POSTED THIS PHOTO OF THE NEW NIGHTCRAWLER, PLAYED BY KODI SMIT-MCPHEE. KODI PLAY

THE MUSEO DELLA MERDA IMuseum of Poop) IS BEING OPENED IN ITALY There. you will learn about the history of poop. its practical uses, and the benefits

Source: TheLocal.it

HULU PURCHASED THE STREAMING RIGHTS FOR SEINFELD FOR $160 MILLION. I guess I'm not forgiven yet. THE COMPANY ALSO SIGNED A DEAL WITH AMC FOR EXCLUSIVE

Source: Variety

The 14 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed

KONAMI'S HIGHLY ANTICIPATED HORROR GAME SILENT HILLS, FEATURING NORMAN REEDUS, HAS BEEN CANCELED- -POSSIBLY DUE TO A FALLING OUT BETWEEN THE COMPANY A

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