Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to follow the plot of a novel that was written by letting a monkey hump a keyboard. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

Nepal's devastating 7.8 magnitude earthquake lifted parts of Kathmandu by as much as three feet. The entire city has shifted south by 10 feet. Mount E

The 14 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed

SINCE PUMPKINS NO LONGER SATE HIS BLOODLUST, BILLY CORGAN WILL BEGIN SMASHING CRANIUMS AS A SENIOR PRODUCER FOR 'TNA WRESTLING. CORGAN WILL DEVELOP C

ALERT: FART APPS WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR THE APPLE WATCH! The Fart Watch app was designed to turn your iPhone and Apple Watch into an elaborate Wh

Source: Cult Of Mac

A NEW DINOSALR HAS BEEN DISCOVERED IN CHILE. Chilesaurus diegosuarezi is named after the boy who Tound the first fossil. Diego was just 7 years old at

A SHEEP DOG IN SCOTLAND CRASHED HIS OWNER'S TRACTOR. FAST FURRIEST Tom Hamilton was checking sheep when his dog, Don, leaned on the tractor controls,

Source: BBC

HILARY DUFF IS DATING ON TINDER. Done Done Hilary, 27 9 miles away Active 46 minutes ago Hilary, 27 Let's get pizza. 3 miles away Active 19 minutes ag

Source: Uproxx

TO MARK THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING FOR X-MEN: APOCALYPSE, BRIAN SINGER POSTED THIS PHOTO OF THE NEW NIGHTCRAWLER, PLAYED BY KODI SMIT-MCPHEE. KODI PLAY

THE MUSEO DELLA MERDA IMuseum of Poop) IS BEING OPENED IN ITALY There. you will learn about the history of poop. its practical uses, and the benefits

Source: TheLocal.it

HULU PURCHASED THE STREAMING RIGHTS FOR SEINFELD FOR $160 MILLION. I guess I'm not forgiven yet. THE COMPANY ALSO SIGNED A DEAL WITH AMC FOR EXCLUSIVE

Source: Variety

The 14 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed

KONAMI'S HIGHLY ANTICIPATED HORROR GAME SILENT HILLS, FEATURING NORMAN REEDUS, HAS BEEN CANCELED- -POSSIBLY DUE TO A FALLING OUT BETWEEN THE COMPANY A

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