Following the news is like trying to listen to a confusing tale told by a madman who insists on talking with his butt cheeks like Ace Ventura. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

The 13 Biggest Stories Of The Week (You May Have Missed)

Source: WIRED, C-Span

MARVEL COMIC SPOILERS AHEAD! In A1l-New X-Men #40. after being confronted bY Jean Grey, Iceman has officially come out as gay. WHAT'S BOBBY... HAPPENI

Source: io9

Scientists have discovered a new species ot frog in Costa Rica that looks exactly like Kermit from the Muppets. Hyalinobatrachium dianae is a fype of

Source: CNN

SEVERAL NATIVE AMERICAN/ ACTORS WALKED OFF THE SET OFADAM SANDLER'S BUPCOMING MOVIE DUE TO OFFENSIVESTEREOTYPESA AND INSULTING SCENES THAT MISREPRESEN

NETFLIX HAS ORDERED A SECOND SEASON OF DAREDEVIL FOUR OTHER MARVEL SHOWS WILL ALSO BE ARRIVING EXCLUSIVELY ON NETFLIX: A.K.A. JESSICA JONES LUKE CAGE

Source: Marvel.com

A 66-YEAR-OLD FUGITIVE WHO HAD BEEN ON THE RUN FOR NEARLY 40 YEARS, TURNED HIMSELF IN TO RECEIVE HEALTH CARE IN PRISON. Originally serving an eight- y

Source: NBC News

for EARTH DAY, THE NSA INTRODUCEDI ls NEW RESYCLIING MASCOTO DUNK. MANY ARE COMPLAINING THAT DUNK IS THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES. WE JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY

Source: Uproxx

HOLLYWOOD SURE HOPES YOU LIKE ROBIN HOOD, BECAUSE FOUR MOVIE ADAPTATIONS ARE IN THE WORKS 1. The Warner Bros. version was penned by one of the screenw

McDONALD'S TESTED A LIMITED ALL-DAY BREAKFAST MENU IN SAN DIEGO ON 4/20, AKA THE STONER HOLIDAY. McCafe m Initial reports suggest the suspiciously wel

Source: Nasdaq.com

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY IMPROVE THE MAJESTY OF THE GRAND CANYON? IF YOU ANSWERED A NORDSTROM, A CINNABON, AND SOME SORT OF GONDOLA RIDE, THEN YOU'RE IN

die on Mars when Why you live in South Dakota? can ON MARS? DIE WHY LVE SouthDakata That odd question is being asked by South Dakota's Office of Eco

WORMS RAINED FROM THE SKY VER MANY AREAS OF SOUTHERN NORWAY Everyone keeps falking like this is some kind of mysterious phenomenon: Well, Im sorty! Th

Source: TheLocal.no

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