The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 4/19

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Last week was all about jerks: parents, the easily offended, cats, companies that poison cats, and otters. Jerky, rapey otters.


The 45 Most Badass Lines Ever Uttered in Real Life

And he helped save other passengers before going down with the Titanic, dressed to the nines.

Notable Comment: "As opposed to those who shoved women and children out of the way for a lifeboat seat. They later learned the truth of the old line: 'A coward dies a thousand deaths while the brave die but once.'"

When RMS Titanic started to sink, one of the wealthiest passengers on the doomed ship, Benjamin Guggenheim, returned to his room, changed into his eve


5 Realities Of The Rehab Camp My Parents Paid To Kidnap Me

"For a fee, a parent can have their own child kidnapped by strangers in the dead of night, hauled off to a remote location, and subjected to harsh conditions in the wilderness until he's cured of their bad behavior. It's legal, unregulated, and there's no evidence that it actually works at all."

Gold Star Comment: "How to guarantee that you'll die of old age, in your child's basement, in a pool of your own waste, in ONE EASY CALL!"

The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 4/19


8 Terrifying Instruments Old-Time Doctors Used on Your Junk

All of the words on this advertisement make you never want to age beyond 15 Years Old.

Gold Star Comment: "Please excuse me while I never stop screaming."

IN A CLASS BY ITSELF The RECTOROTOR THE LATEST AND MOST EFFICIEN'T INVENTION FOR THE QUICK RELLEF OF PILES, CONSTIPATION AND PROSTATE TROUBLE The RECT


5 Adorable Animals Who Are the Biggest Assholes on Earth

#NotAllOtters rape and murder and rape the murdered corpses, but enough do it that it is, in fact, a thing.

Horror Show Comment: "We had two male guinea pigs. One constantly raped the other and then ate his ear off when he died. Kids didn't want any more after that."

The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 4/19


6 Secret Monopolies You Didn't Know Run the World

How could 150 brands of cat food get contaminated in 2007? Simple, they were all really just one brand.

The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 4/19


19 Surreal Images (and Their Mind-Blowing Explanations)

What could be more refreshing than drinking an ant's regurgitated ass juice?

Gold Star Gross-Out Comment: "Natives who live in the areas these ants live in will collect them & eat them like grapes..."

This is neither 3 tumor nor a rare mutation. This is a species known as the honeypot ant. They will drink as much nectar as their bodies can hold, at


5 Ways Our Generation Has Ruined "Being Offended"

Stop trying to shut stuff down, idiots!

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (4/14)

We don't normally acquiesce to authority, but in this instance, okay...

Gold Star Comment: "Let's see who's laughing when he activates it."

TURKEY'S CHAMBER OF ARCHITECTS AND ENGINEERS FILED A LAWSUIT AGAINST THE MAYOR OF ANKARA AFTER HE UNVEILED THIS ROBOT STATUE IN THE CAPITAL. THE 20-FO


6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations

Cats run The Joint. Everybody knows it.

Notable Comment: "Cats are assholes but at least they're honest about it... Unlike humans."

AS ANY SPINSTER WILL TELL YOU, A CAT'S AFFECTION IS OBVIOUS WHEN IT'S PURRING AND RUBBING ITS FACE AND BODY AGAINST YOUR LEG. IT'S LIKE THE ANIMAL IS


Why Your Grocery Bags Must All Be Carried At Once

There comes a time in every overloaded-with-groceries trip when you have to be willing to do what's necessary.

Gold Star Comment: "I'd rather chop my own dick off and throw it in the garbage disposal before making a second trip."


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