But at least we're dealing with adults here: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance reveals that even the kids in these games can be little bastards. The game follows a group of extremely disadvantaged primary schoolchildren who accidentally use a magic book to turn their depressing reality (dead parents, crippling diseases, severe bullying) into another world where all their problems are fixed. For instance, one of the kids has a dead mother and a drunken father, but in this altered reality they're alive and a nondrunk Judgemaster (like a judge, but more badass), respectively. He's finally happy! So, naturally, it's your job to ruin this for him, and everyone else.
For basically no other reason than "I want to go home," the protagonist, a kid called Marche, goes on a quest to restore the world to the way it was -- knowing it will make life shittier for his friends. You're literally making a kid lose his mom all over again.
Lack of parental supervision leads to questionable decisions, like weird perms and forehead tattoos.
And, again, this isn't just a dream world or a shared psychosis (which seemed like the most likely explanation given how miserable these kids were); it's a real place, superimposed upon the old reality. Even after Marche realizes this beautiful paradise was made so that his friends could be freed from their horrible lives, he still continues to take an axe to this Narnia's door like he's in The Shining. Here's the biggest moment of self-awareness:
"Made some kids unhappy: 15000 XP."
Marche just brushes off that horrible realization and keeps on trucking. But Marche's biggest dick move is when he attempts to convince his ill, paraplegic brother to leave this magical world by telling him he'll still be able to walk when they go back home ...
"I too believe in magic. The magic of moral relativism."
... only for us to see at the end of the game that, nope, he's back to his old wheelchair, being wheeled over to the nearest console so he can play Final Fantasy. Holy shit, Square, if this whole thing was an elaborate advertisement for your games, you're sicker than we thought.
For more of Cedric Voets' attempts at witticisms or his famous recipes for toilet wine, do follow him on Twitter. He also has a blog for masochists!
For more bait and switches, check out 6 Movie Heroes Who Actually Made Things Worse and Why Scar Is Secretly the Good Guy in 'Lion King'.
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