The world is a whirling hurricane of bullshit, and no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important news story while maintaining their sanity. So, we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous headlines from the last week (or so):

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (4/14)

Source: Gawker

The National Advertising Division of the Better Business Bureau ruled that the DirecTv ads featuring Rob Lowe make unsubstantiated claims and should b

Source: AdWeek

A man attending an Easter Vigil mass in Pennsylvania accidentally shot his hand own and then tried to pretend nothing happened. Police say the legally

Source: KDVR

FURIOUS7 has grossed an incredible $800 million in global box office sales in just 2 weeks. Domesticallyot the Movie made $147 million in its first we

Sculptor Dave Poulin, who created this statue Waaaah! of Lucille Ball seriously) in New York, has finally offered to fix it for free. Poulin initially

AITINES SIES PlaDoh EPISODE X: THERE'S NO HOPE IT IS A PERIOD OF SEQUELS, REBOOTS. AND ADAPTATIONS. KEVIN SMITH WILL SHOOT MALLRATS 2 BEFORE CLERKS 3.

Source: Metro

Now sit down and shut your pie hole because It's Tme For TV News! TODAY'S EPISODE: PLEASE. SIR, I WAN'T SOME MORE Producer Brian Grazer announced the

Uber Has Launched An Auto Rickshaw Service In India. This story was a LOT more exciting when I thought they were talking about these kinds of rickshaw

Source: TechCrunch

DOES THIS MAN LOOK LIKE AN INTERNATIONAL SPY TO YOU? ONE STARBUCKS. SEXECUTIVE SEEMED TO THINK SO. WHILE ENJOYING HIS COFFEE, BAY AREA NATIVE DANIEL L

Source: CBS Local

THE WHITE HOUSE SEEKS TO BAN GAY CONVERSION THERAPY A White House petition was started when Leelah Alcorn, a 17-year-old transgender youth, killed her

Source: CNN

Walter Scott was laid to rest in a service that was open to the public in South Carolina. Scott was killed in North Charleston after being pulled over

Source: CNN

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