The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/30)

The world is a howling shitstorm of confusion, and no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important news story. So, we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or fucking insane headlines from the last week (or so):
Source: Bloomberg
Related: The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/2)
Source: CBS News