8

Koro (Japanese)

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Means: Fear of a vanishing penis.

Koro is the word given to the crippling fear, apparently unique to Japan and parts of China, that a man's penis is shrinking and possibly even receding into his body to create some kind of man vagina. Just to reiterate: this is a fear common enough that it needs its own word in the language. We're not going to bother making an "Asian penis-size" joke, because you're already making one in your head and we want to take the high road.

XiXinXing/XiXinXing/Getty Images Same for this caption.

Science is on the fence about whether koro is a legitimate psychological disorder or whether a whole bunch of dudes are woefully uneducated about how anatomy works. Strange, too, is the fact that this concept exists only in Asian countries. Though, oddly enough, in parts of Africa there have been panics about penis thieves, who supposedly perform the theft via magic spells that make the penis wither away. We know these dick-vanishing wizards don't actually exist, because if they did the armies of the world would have dropped all of their differences to unite as one against them.

OK, we have one more penis entry before we move on:

7

Donaldkacsazas (Hungarian)

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6

Vernichtungsschmerz (German)

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5

Cinq a Sept (French)

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Means: The time period after work everyone devotes to cheating on their partner.

We made it our mission to avoid crude cultural stereotypes in this article, so we're not saying that the archetype of the smarmy, philandering French dude is true or anything. We're just saying their language seem to have strangely specific terminology for it. For instance, the expression cinq a sept translates to "5-to-7." In America, we tend to refer to the work day as "the 9-to-5," and it's basically the same concept. But it's not that the French work longer hours -- the 5-to-7, in French culture, is the time after work reserved for having an extramarital affair.

branislav ostojic/iStock/Getty Images Admittedly, this does seem like a better pick-me-up after a hard day than Miller Time.

4

Zapoi (Russian)

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Means: A drinking binge that lasts multiple days.

Goddammit. OK, no more crude stereotypes after this one.

In America we have plenty of words for going on a bender and winding up on an adventure that you won't be able to remember after you sober up. Hell, we made three movies entirely about this concept. But only in Russia do they have a word, zapoi, that specifically describes a drinking binge that lasts two days or longer.

Cerbi/iStock/Getty Images Well, technically English has a word for that too.

That's 48 hours of nonstop alcohol consumption in what has more or less become a rite of passage for Russian youth. One study conducted in the city of Izhevsk found that almost 10 percent of all men had gone into zapoi at least once during the last year. A similar percentage admitted to drinking "surrogate alcohol," meaning cologne, alcohol-containing medicines, fluids for lighting fires, or industrial spirits like window cleaner.

3

Witwentroster (German)

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Means: A dude who takes advantage of widows, in the worst way possible.

The literal translation of the German word witwentroster is "widow comforter," which doesn't seem so bad. Like, if anyone needs comforting, it's probably a widow, so it's nice to know that Germans provide this service so regularly.

Except that, really, this term refers to a specific kind of man who provides a specific kind of comfort to widows. From the inside. With his penis. Then, he robs them blind. And this is apparently a large enough problem in Germany that they need a word in the dictionary to warn people about it.

sumnersgraphicsinc/iStock/Getty Images"Motherfucker."
"Grand, technically."

According to articles that we unfortunately need to rely on Google to translate, there's a case in Hamburg of an unemployed ex-con who gained the trust of a millionaire's widow and, after three years of patient wooing and looking after her dogs, managed to make off with several thousand bucks and two debit cards. In Munich, another witwentroster seduced a rich widow vacationing in Italy and, over the course of years, demanded one large sum of money after another from her, cheating her out of a quarter of a million euros by the time he was done "comforting" her.

2

Prozvonit (Czech)

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1

Tingo (Easter Island)

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Means: To slowly steal everything your neighbor owns by "borrowing" it.

Despite what you might have learned from pop culture, Easter Island isn't just some barren island devoid of anything but a bunch of giant stone heads that aliens put there. There is an indigenous population, with its own culture and language. For a quick yet revealing insight into that culture, we have the word tingo, which, as closely as anyone can translate it, means "to borrow objects from a friend's house, one by one, until there's nothing left."

George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images "Mind if I borrow your wife, too? Just long enough to teach me how to use the blender, I swear."

That is one hell of a complicated sentence to be expressed by two syllables, and we could assume a lot of things about Easter Island culture if we were to use only this one word as our guide. One, that they tend to be deeply covetous about each other's shit. Two, that despite this fact, they're too polite to say no to one another. And three, that these factors create a common enough problem that they needed a quick and simple word to refer to it.

We can only imagine that everyone on Easter Island must dread the inevitable day when their best friend bursts through the door and asks, "Hey man, would it be cool if I borrowed ... everything?" And they know that they can only sigh dejectedly and whisper, "Tingo," under their breath as their friend backs a truck into the driveway.

For bitchin' words we definitely need, check out 9 Foreign Words the English Language Desperately Needs and 8 Useful Foreign Words the English Language Needs to Steal.

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