Oh wow, there's the mortar all right. It's huge. Even bigger than the five-foot monolithic PlayStation and gargantuan remote. What does that control, the sky?! Plus, look at the man's glassy-eyed stare and the fascist, military discipline of that German shepherd. This is serious business. Or it would be if everything in that photo was not clearly just a toy.
Driscoll was confused at first when officers showed up at this door, but like all good boys with a serious toy collection, he was all too happy to show them his arsenal. Here's the mortar:
Kevin Fern / SWNS
"But how do we know Mr. Driscoll isn't simply 75 feet tall?"
After deciding that Driscoll did not pose a threat to Toyland, everyone had a good laugh together over tea and biscuits, which is what the British call literally every food over there. The police defended their actions, saying that it's better they investigate all possible threats than to risk the community by not taking action at all. Which is probably a PR-friendly way of saying, "This town is seriously boring, and we just wanted to check out that dude's sweet toy collection."