You might think that "Victor the Wrestling Bear" was simply a nickname for some large, hairy gay man, but nope: it was an actual de-clawed, nearly blind grizzly that Wepner sparred with for the entertainment of a bunch of weirdos. Looking at photos of the fight will make you feel bad for Wepner, the bear, and humanity in general.

ESPN/Chuck Wepner via YouTube
ESPN/Chuck Wepner via YouTube
ESPN/Chuck Wepner via YouTube
Technically, it was bear knuckle boxing.

The fight only lasted for five minutes before Wepner needed to call for help. Uninterested in stealing picnic baskets or honey pots, the bear was actually going to horribly murder him. And while Ali never demanded a rematch like Apollo Creed did in Rocky II, the bear apparently did. Victor and Wepner faced off again a year later, which went even worse: Wepner was immediately tossed over the ropes, landed on a dinner table, and quit the fight. After that, he somewhat understandably spent half the '80s in a drug-induced stupor, until he was busted with a small mountain of cocaine. According to the book Operation Bullpen, in 2002, Wepner was busted again by the FBI for selling fake Ali autographs.

Also understandably, Stallone didn't use any of these anecdotes in any Rocky movies, although if he had, they would have made for a Rocky V that would have won approximately all of the Oscars.

Seven Years in Tibet is a charming, picturesque true story of an Austrian mountaineer called Heinrich Harrer (Brad Pitt) who travels to Tibet and ends up tutoring the young Dalai Lama. How many of us can say we met one of the greatest religious leaders in the world when he was at the height of his awkward boner years? But the movie left out the fact that Harrer also rubbed shoulders with other famous figures of the 20th century. Like this one here:

German Federal Archives via DW.de
Yes, mountaineering fans, that is the Fritz Kasparek.

That's Harrer on Adolf Hitler's right, and we don't wanna know what he's doing with his missing hand. It turns out that befriending an Austrian drifter in the '30s and '40s can lead to some nasty surprises. In the movie, which is based on Harrer's autobiography, Brad Pitt's character is sent to a British POW camp just for having German citizenship, even though he hates the Nazis. In reality, he was a Nazi. And he wasn't just dabbling in Nazism because it was the style at the time -- he was an actual member of the SS, with a rank equivalent to that of a sergeant. Include that little detail, and this turns into a completely different "POW on the run hides in Tibet" movie.

TriStar Pictures
Original Title: Seven or So Years 'til Shit Blows Over in Europe.

Harrer even had to ask Heinrich Himmler for permission before he could marry, and wore his Nazi uniform to the ceremony. If you ever decide to propose to someone and get a bit nervous, remember that at least you don't have to get permission from the head of the goddamn Third Reich.

Most of this stuff only came to light in 1997, right before Seven Years in Tibet was released. The director said he did suspect Harrer had a "possible connection" to the Nazis, but not enough to look into it at all because, you know, it would have totally ruined his film. It's worth mentioning that Harrer was never linked to any war crimes, and that the Dalai Lama remained his friend even after finding out this made him Hitler's twice-removed pal.

While Ketcham was getting rich from his idyllic, fictionalized son, his flesh-and-blood one had to deal with some shit way more intense than getting caught sneaking cookies before dinner. When Dennis was only twelve, his mother, an alcoholic, died of a drug overdose while in the process of divorcing his father. The family then moved to Switzerland, but when Dennis started having trouble in school, Ketcham shipped the kid off to a boarding school in the U.S. while he remained in Europe with his new wife.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Library
And a replacement Dennis, apparently.

And then Dennis got older, and he was finally able to move on ... to fight in Vietnam, where the Viet Cong presumably taunted him with "Hey Mister Wiiiilsooon!" chants. Fortunately, he survived; unfortunately, he suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and also the ongoing stress of being unable to open a newspaper without risking seeing the pop culture icon who hijacked his childhood.

As a result of everything we said, Dennis became estranged from his father, who continued drawing the wacky adventures of happy, mischievous Dennis for decades. Luckily, that particular Dennis never ages, so we were spared a movie where he has to go fight in 'Nam.

Sony Pictures Television
Unless there was some dark symbolism that we missed here.

Hotel Rwanda is a powerful story of a hotel manager's frantic efforts to harbor and save the lives of a number of refugees during the Rwandan genocide -- it's basically Schindler's List combined with a pretty fucked up episode of Fawlty Towers.

United Artists/Lionsgate
"Don't mention the war? How could I possibly not mention the war?!"

The hotel manager, Paul Rusesabagina, has been widely hailed as a hero, garnering the highest honor anyone can receive: being portrayed by Don Cheadle, who is awesome. However, there are people who disagree with the movie's depiction of its altruistic protagonist ... including some of the ones he supposedly saved. A group of Rwandan genocide survivors assert that Rusesabagina exaggerated his own heroism, and was in fact charging his guests for safe haven in the hotel. In that case, we hope they didn't order any adult films or open one of those tiny jars of cashews.

Chris Clinton/Digital Vision/Getty Images
"That'll be $200 for not getting killed, and $50 for the fun size Snickers bar."

One of the actual residents of the hotel, Pasa Mwenenganucye, claimed that people who couldn't pay to stay were kicked out, and called the film a "basket of lies." Similarly, the head of the UN's peacekeeping force in Rwanda at the time, Canadian Romeo Dallaire, didn't refer to the Rusesabagina controversy directly, but called the movie "junk." Though to be fair, he may have been pissed off that the character based on him was played by former Sexiest Man Alive / current bloated, demon-voiced mess Nick Nolte.

United Artists/Lionsgate
"Why couldn't Don Cheadle play us both? Why couldn't Don Cheadle play everyone?"

The backlash was so bad that Rusesabagina was pressured into cancelling an appearance at a Canadian festival by members of Toronto's Rwandian community, who accused him of being "genocide revisionist and denier." So they didn't like the movie either, we take it. All of this has to be taking its toll on its Metacritic score.

It should be noted that Rusesabagina has denied all of these accusations, and stands by the Hollywood version, in which the guy who played War Machine doesn't threaten to send refugees to their almost-certain death if they can't afford a hotel bill. In his words: "No survivor has said, 'He charged and kicked me out for not paying.'" That ... doesn't sound as good as it did in your head, dude.