Florida Is Full of Giant Snakes That Dumbasses Bought as Pets
And0283, via Wikipedia
While most pet owners are content with a subtle, mostly concealed evil nature in their choice of furry companion (hi there, cat people!), others are only satisfied with the straight up Thulsa Doom in your living room provided by the Burmese python. From 1999 to 2004 alone, 144,000 of these slithery predators were imported to the U.S. and, drunk on the idea of having the badassest pet ever, droves of people brought home a "cute" inches-long baby, only to have it (unexpectedly?) mature into a 20-foot-long nightmare dweller.
"Lately I've been trying to branch out into dwelling in apocalyptic visions and bad peyote trips, too."
Because personal responsibility runs strong in the human race, they admitted that they could no longer properly care for these unwieldy serpents and somberly delivered them to animal sanctuaries. Oh, wait -- no. Actually, they just drove over to the nearest swamp, dumped the snake in some long grass, made an exaggerated hand-wiping gesture, and peeled away while listening to Dio at full crank.
Michael R. Rochford/University of Florida/AP Photo
They're smiling because the water disguises the fact that they just simultaneously peed themselves.
Today, an estimated 150,000 pythons inhabit the Florida Everglades. They've quickly become the dominant predator, horrifyingly slo-mo-swallowing everything from raccoons, rabbits, opossums, and deer to freaking bobcats and even alligators. The increase in Burmese python numbers and decrease in every-other-animal numbers has been a trend observed since the early 2000s, so the government promptly restricted the import of these snakes, right? Well, if you consider 2012 prompt, then yeah -- that's when the U.S. finally got around to saying, "Uh, guys? No more monster snakes, K?"
Question: What happens when a python swallows an alligator?